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All Dogs Go To Kevin : A Book Review
When I woke up this morning, taking my cup of coffee and Kindle outside, I had hoped to spend a few quiet few hours reading before Michael and the kids (our pups) got up. I didn’t expect to finish, teary-eyed and even bawling through passages of the final few chapters.
A good book, whether fiction or non, takes you on a journey. Perhaps somewhere familiar or on some new adventure. If you’re lucky, besides a good read, you might learn something along the way.
I got a complimentary ARC (Advanced Reader Copy) of All Dogs Go To Kevin by Dr. Jessica Vogelsang through the NetGalley website. It’s official publication date is July 14, 2015. As a dog owner/lover, I thought I’d give it a shot.
The brief description from the publisher: ALL DOGS GO TO KEVIN is a humorous and touching portrait of a veterinarian, her beloved dogs, and the lessons they impart to her along the way.
The NetGalley description goes on with, “You can’t always count on people, but you can always count on your dog. No one knows that better than veterinarian Jessica Vogelsang, who with the help of three dogs, is buoyed through adolescence, veterinary school, and the early years of motherhood. Taffy, the fearsome Lhasa; Emmett, an amiable Golden; and Kekoa, the neurotic senior Labrador, are always by her side, offering lessons in empathy and understanding for all the oddballs and misfits who come through the vet clinic doors. Also beside her is Kevin, a human friend who lives with the joie de vivre most people only dream of having. But when tragedy strikes, Jessica is reminded that the animals we love give more than they take.”
This isn’t an owners’ manual or a how to book, but rather a beautiful memoir of sorts, of Doctor Vogelsang’s (Dr. V) personal journey to becoming a caring Veterinarian, mother and guardian of some wonderful dogs. There are some wonderful takeaways in this book that are inherently present. 1) All dogs are not created equal. 2) All vets are not created equal; and there is an important partnership between owner and caregiver that should be present to maximize a pet’s quality of life. 3) The pain and heartbreak of losing a pet can never outweigh the rewards of loving one.
A year and a half later, I’m still grieving the loss of Roxie. Not an all-consumed, depressing loss– but a day doesn’t go by that I don’t think or her and miss her wet kisses. And more so, I worry about her brother Cash; who at 12 years old, has good days and bad days and many in between.
It was impossible not to directly connect with many of the humorous and touching moments of Dr. V’s experiences. Her empathy and humanity will enrapt you in an enormous bear hug and not let you go.
According to the author’s bio, “Dr. Vogelsang discovered a passion for working with pets and families in the end-stages of life, and now practices full time with Paws into Grace providing hospice care to dogs and cats.”
So why the title, All Dogs Go To Kevin? I don’t like spoilers, so you’ll just have to read the book to find out.
I highly recommend this book to pet owners, pet lovers and anyone even considering adding a furry friend to their family. It will serve as a great comfort and resource when building a life with a four-legged companion.
All Dogs Go To Kevin
by Doctor Jessica Vogelsang
Publication date: July 14, 2015
Grand Central Publishing
Available in Hardcover, Kindle, Audible and Audio CD. Purchase on Amazon by clicking here.
Love Is Love
My profile picture with the FB celebratepride filter.
I have to say I didn’t get too emotional yesterday with the announcement of the Supreme Court’s decision in support of gay marriage. Maybe because I knew it was still only a small step– a very historic step— but still just a small step towards acceptance and equality in the United States. Perhaps it’s because I’m a little numb from a lifetime of exposure to hate and bigotry. When I was in my late teens and early 20’s, I never thought I’d see this day.
The court’s decision isn’t going to instantly change people’s opinions. Only time will accomplish that.
But then this morning, as I scrolled through my Facebook Newsfeed, something happened. Not only were there a myriad of posts celebrating the landmark decision– friend after friend had also changed their profile pictures, using the celebratepride filter, overlaying the rainbow pride flag over their image. I found myself incredibly moved.
It suddenly became real to me.
Love equals Love. Equality gives way to the very Freedoms we are supposedly all guaranteed in the Constitution. Maybe there is Hope. Maybe Amerika can become America again– or maybe even, for the first time.
Every step we take in this country to remove Hate, opens the door to love and acceptance.
Gay marriage can now just be called marriage. Eventually, Gay pride may become an unnecessary celebration and can give way to American pride. It’s all about Equality. Each and everyone of us equal.
Some of the love being shared on Facebook.
I think it’s important to be consciously aware that the Supreme Court’s decision was not a strike against Christianity. Many people are choosing to take it that way; and I find it extremely sad and nearly pathetic. The fight was never about changing anyone’s religious beliefs; it was the always about equal rights under the law. In ancient times, marriage may have only been strictly viewed as a religious contract– not anymore. There are too many rights under the law regarding married people to maintain that defense.
Love is Love. It transcends gender and race. It is more powerful than contracts, vows or religion.
All we need is time.
Exploring the Fox River Trail
Whether you live in a rural or urban setting, and whether you know it or not; there are some amazing walking and biking trails near you. I found sights, sounds and smells that can dazzle to extremes, just a short distance from my home. I can experience the city, farm and fields, beautiful river and forest views; all in a relatively short distance. The sounds of traffic, babbling brooks, chirping birds… even silence. Stale city smells, pungent livestock, fresh forest air… are all there waiting for you to explore.
A little color as spring begins to invade Trout Park along the Fox Valley Trail.
Last week, I took my longest ride so far, traveling south from Elgin down to the heart of St. Charles. There and back, my ride clocked in at just over 22 miles, round trip. To date, I’ve covered about 16 miles of the Fox River Trail (FRT) between St. Charles and East Dundee.
In total, the trail is approximately 43 miles long from Montgomery to the south, to Algonquin on the north end. The trail links in multiple locations with other Illinois trails branching out in other directions.
Here are some highlights, as well as some tips to help you avoid getting lost and to work around some trail closures. I’m sharing some photos I’ve taken along the path over the past few weeks.
One of the best urban portions of the ride, travels through Elgin, along the Fox River, passing Walton Island Park.
Pratt’s Castle, north of downtown Elgin (1262 Cedar Ave, Elgin, IL) along the Fox River Trail.
“Brick Roadway on North Spring Street” (1930’s) is the last exposed brick remaining in Elgin.
Detours. I was naive enough to believe once you were on the trail, you’d stay on a clearly marked trail. It’s not the case. There are some closures and detours you’ll want to be aware of along the trail.
Traveling north from Elgin on the Fox River Trail. There are really only two minor considerations you’ll want to know about traveling north of downtown Elgin. The first, is a pretty simple jog that takes you a few blocks east of the river, around the Gail Borden Library, to allow you to cross near the Kimball street bridge. There are green bike signs that help get you across this busy street. You then have the option of taking the sidewalk around either side of the library until it reconnects with the trail. This is a permanent part of the path. I should note that once you cross Kimball, you should take the side walk south of the library back down to the river or you’ll miss a beautifully maintained section and the Veteran’s Memorial. Otherwise, you just continue straight ahead, passed the library and a large (currently) vacant piece of land, back to the actual trail going north.
The second spot is at I-90 about a quarter mile passed Trout Park. The path is not closed there. I saw one post online stating it was closed. You are crossing through a construction zone– and there are signs requesting you walk your bike through the short stretch, although most cyclists I’ve encountered, ignore the signs. The bridge that crosses the river at I-90 (taking you off trail) is closed and under construction.
Traveling south from Elgin on the Fox River Trail. A couple miles south of Elgin the FRT is closed. If you’re not paying attention, you’ll suddenly find yourself traveling along the Illinois Prairie path, and not know how you got there, or how to get back on the FRT. Forking off to the west is a closed path that appears to dead end at a train trestle. There is actually supposed to be a bridge
The FRT detours here. The bridge is gone that is supposed to go under the left arch connecting the trail.
going under the trestle that connects the trail. This spot tripped me up my first ride. It is not marked as part of the FRT and there are no signs anywhere that instruct how you can detour back to the trail.
The best work-around I found, is to take the Illinois Prairie Path to Middle Street and go west, into South Elgin, go north one block on South Gilbert Street to State Street and then taking the State Street Bridge west, putting you are back on the trail again.
On my return trip, I did investigate the ‘skipped’ portion of the FRT and it is walkable but not easy to ride– up to where the bridge is out. That portion of the path is in extreme disrepair, lots of steep and bumpy, twisting spots that need to be redeveloped– if and when the bridge is replaced.
Seba Park on the west side of the Fox River is currently under construction but you can follow the path through, staying on the trail. From there, the trail is quite beautiful and unobstructed. Following the shoreline of the Fox River, along side a railroad track for some distance, is a nice peaceful ride.
There is one long, fairly steep incline that I find too difficult to ride and walked it instead, when heading south. It’s fun riding north though— but you need to use your breaks.
As you get close to St. Charles, there are a few spots where you have to ride main roads and residential streets between gaps in actual dedicated paths— so you’ll need to use extreme caution if walking or cycling. Some spots aren’t marked, you just continue straight ahead and the trail will become clear when it picks up again. I used the TrailLink app and GPS just to be sure.
Farms, fields and sky along the Fox River Trail and Illinois Prairie Path.
Where Bridges and Train Trestles Meet. One of the spots where the Fox River Trail and Illinois Prairie Path link.
Biking across the Fox River, north of St. Charles on the Fox River Trail.
Stunning view of the Fox River.
Much of the Fox River Trail follows along functioning and unused train track.
Open blue skies.
I stopped when I reached downtown St. Charles because I was confused where to go. The map shows the trail forking and following both sides of the river through downtown. You cannot ride your bike on the sidewalks in downtown St. Charles though. The narrow roads and traffic congestion make riding in the streets a little daunting as well. Signs are posted requiring cyclists to walk bikes on sidewalks. Since I was out for a ride, not a walk; I decided to turn back towards Elgin at this point. I found out later, there is an actual riding path on the west side of the Fox River, which after some distance, must cross back over the river to the east side, before heading south towards Aurora.
On my way back, a work crew on the path forced me on a bit of a detour through a small portion of Tekakwitha Woods. I was rewarded with a stunning bridge view I would have otherwise missed.
Just off the FRT in the Tekakwitha Woods.
I’m looking forward to more exploring this summer. My next goal is to ride from Elgin to the northern trailhead in Algonquin. A friend of mine just told me yesterday that north of East Dundee, is a beautiful scenic ride.
There are thousands of miles of trails across the United States and some are bound to be near you. Some you never knew existed. Get out there and explore!
Suggested Links:
- Trail Link- Fox River Trail
- Kane County Forest Preserve- Fox River Trail
- Fox River Bike Trail
- City of Elgin- Biking & Walking
Beautiful Christmas: Twenty One Trees- Decorating Outside
Some of the 21 trees I put up, waiting to be fluffed and lit.
Twenty-one trees. No big deal. (Ha-ha!)
We had a bit of a warm up two weekends ago, so I took advantage of it and got my trees and stakes in the ground. Then we froze again. I’m glad I started early so I wasn’t forced to work on them in the low teens.
This past weekend I was able to finish fluffing the branches, running the power and lighting the trees. The temperature was in the 40s so it wasn’t too painful. Now we’re back in the low 20s again.
Depending where you live, the weather can play a huge factor in your plans to decorate outside.
Fluffed and lit. Here are some of my 21 trees at dawn.
I had told myself I was going to keep it simple (like that EVER happens) and decorate the same as last year, but—- I never seem to be able to do that.
First off, I got some new lights on clearance, last year after Christmas, that I wanted to use. (I got some of those expensive synchronizing lights at 80% off!) The next thing I knew, I was making additional changes here and there. Most of those new lights are on the front porch but one thing affects another.
I decided to spread out the trees instead of the big circle I did last year. I have three groups, two of six and one of nine trees. They are all set away from the house, creating more depth in the yard and making it more fun to walk around.
You might wonder why I put out artificial trees instead of decorating the landscape itself– simple answer: squirrels! Anytime I’ve tried decorating my live trees, the squirrels chew the cords. It’s not only annoying– it’s expensive. (I’m using all LED lights.) Aside from hiding their scavenged treats in them once in a while, the squirrels tend to leave the fake trees alone.
Some of the trees I use are more than 15 years old, dropping needles pretty bad and no longer suitable to use inside. A dozen of them I got at Home Depot after Christmas for $4 each one year. It might look expensive, but it was a whole lot cheaper than what a lot of people spend for a much smaller display.
I’m not quite done with my windows yet and they play a big part in the exterior display. My house is too tall and the porches create another obstacle (as well as visual highlight) to decorating; making it difficult to decorate the upper extremes. The icicle lights and snowflakes in the windows, not to mention the trees; contribute to the overall finished exterior look.
Front porch entrance, almost complete.
The windows also create the challenge of coordinating the exterior look with the interior look. This is mostly affected by color. One thing I realized this year: I’m probably never going to have an exterior display that looks expertly designed. Simple looks better from a distance, but all the extras are so much more fun and atmospheric to walk around and through.
Last year I used blue and white lights on the porch and windows, with only a couple color accents on visible trees in featured windows. This year, I’m using a little more color, though my base colors are still blue and white.
I finally found inexpensive bows for my fence. I’m used to getting them for $1 each and this year my previous sources have all gone up to $1.50. Not a big deal– except I need close to 100 bows and they don’t last more than a season due to fading. I finally found a two for $1 sale at a local store chain but none of the retail stores had the quantity I need in stock. So, they are being shipped, due to arrive any day now.
I’ll share more pictures when the windows are complete. It’s been a bit more challenging this year with the weather and our two puppies requiring more time and attention. I still have three weeks, right?
Twenty-One trees done.
Oh, I guess I didn’t mention the eleven full size trees indoors, plus four tabletop trees I need to finish.
I better get on the ball!
Is ‘Black Lives Matter’ Hurting More Than Helping?
It’s trending and blowing up on Twitter and Facebook– #BlackLivesMatter. I get it. I understand the intent. Is it really helping though?
I personally find it a little offense and I need to explain.
Don’t #AllLivesMatter?
Here’s the thing: Singling out a particular race, as a call to action; in an effort to end racism, protest inequality and police brutality– Isn’t it just broadening or solidifying the divide instead uniting us?
I can completely identify with the expressions of sorrow, anger, and disappointment. Then when I see the hashtag– I feel like I’m being alienated. I understand this is intended to draw attention to one issue but I still feel it creates an us against them mentality.
We need unification in this country, not a divide. We’re already divided. People pick sides. We need to come together in order to make real progress.
Throughout my life, when discussing the race issue, I’ve been told, “you don’t understand– you can’t understand”…. but I do understand. As a gay man I’ve experienced many of the same issues. If I say that, then the response is usually, “but people don’t immediately judge you because of the color of your skin.” This is true. Still, I’ve experienced hate. I’ve experienced prejudice. I’ve been angry and afraid. Not the exactly the same, maybe, but at the gut level, it is.
When you say “you don’t understand” to anyone, regardless of the issue– you alienate them. How does this help the cause?
If you say #BlackLivesMatter is to draw attention, show anger or disapproval– then I’d say the campaign is successful. If you tell me #BlackLivesMatter is to bring about change, then I’d suggest there might be a better way.
Yes, Black Lives Matter. Gay Lives Matter. So do Hispanic, White, Poor, Rich, Disabled…. need I go on?
Unifica
tion.
Attack the problem.
Prejudice, Stereotypes, Assumptions, Racism, Sexism, Unlawful Judgement, Inequality, Police Brutality of any kind… those are the problems.
Preaching to the choir is pretty pointless.
If #BlackLivesMatter is building solidarity that’s great– but why not include everyone?
Make a difference. Talk about it. Unify everyone.
#AllLivesMatter.
Liberty And Justice For All: An American Fallacy, Pt.1
Justice is a fallacy. A fallacy is a flaw in reasoning.
Justice is an ideal. Ideals are models for imitation. An Ideal is the conception of something in its absolute perfection.
Absolute perfection does not exist.
Perfect Justice does not exist.
Last night, the grand jury decision to not press charges in the case of Michael Brown – the black 18-year-old who was shot and killed in Ferguson on Aug. 9th by white police officer Darren Wilson, was announced live on national television.
My social media network immediately began to blow up after the announcement, with mostly– expressions of anger and distrust; and only a few in support of the decision. For most of my friends (and the people I follow), it was about the seeming lack of justice and ongoing racism in this country.
At 1:30 a.m., Police Chief Jon Belmar announced at a briefing that at least 12 buildings were set on fire, two police cruisers burned and reports of bottle throwing, broken windows and gunshots were widespread. The police responded with smoke, pepper spray and tear gas aimed to disperse potentially unruly crowds.
It was reported that the jury of nine whites and three blacks met on 25 separate days and heard more than 70 hours of testimony from approximately 60 witnesses, three medical examiners and other experts on blood, toxicology and firearms.
Ferguson is just a match re-igniting the fire that is racism in America. This is not the beginning of something new– it is only another episode in the long, ongoing battle of inequality and racism, sparked by distrust and a long history of violence.
As long as there is the perception of racism…
Then racism is real.
I do not condone the outright unlawful, destructive behavior of the violent protestors. They have become terrorists. They are no different than ISIS or Al Qaeda.
They are destroying their very own community. They are hurting their neighbors and themselves. Unfortunately, for many of them, this is the only way they know how to be heard.
Treat people like animals and they’ll eventually behave like animals.
The American Justice System is not perfect. It’s certainly not absolute perfection. But, it is the system we have. It works in theory. But theory in itself is a test. A test that at times, America seems to be failing.
I think it’s important to draw a line between the justice system and the the issues it is forced to try and reconcile.
Any unlawful act creates a situation in which there will never be complete justice for all. Not to mention all the legal acts that unjust.
A friend of mine on Facebook shared this:
The West Wing Season 7, Episode 8- Undecideds Written by Debora Cahn
Matt Santos (Jimmy Smits)
SANTOS
You know, I find myself on days like this casting around for someone to blame. I blame the kid, he stole a car. I blame the parents, why couldn’t they teach him better. I blame the cop, did he need to fire. I blame everyone I can think of and I am filled with rage. And then I try and find compassion. Compassion for the people I blame, compassion for the people I do not understand, compassion. It doesn’t always work so well.I remember as a young man listening on the radio to Dr. King in 1968. He asked of us compassion and we responded, not necessarily because we felt it but because he convinced us that if we could find compassion, if we could express compassion, that if we could just pretend compassion it would heal us so much more than vengeance could. And he was right: it did but not enough. What we’ve learned this week is that more compassion is required of us and an even greater effort is required of us. And we are all, I think everyone of us, are tired.
We’re tired of understanding, we’re tired of waiting, we’re tired of trying to figure out why our children are not safe and why our efforts to try to make them safe seem to fail. We’re tired. But we must know that we have made some progress and blame will only destroy it. Blame will breed more violence and we have had enough of that.
Blame will not rid our streets of crime and drugs and fear and we have had enough of that. Blame will not strengthen our schools or our families or our workforce. Blame will rob us of those things and we have had enough of that. And so I ask you today to dig down deep with me and find that compassion in your hearts because it will keep us on the road. And we will walk together and work together. And slowly, slowly, too slowly, things will get better.
God bless you. God bless you and God bless your children.
The West Wing episode 7.08 “Undecideds”, original air date 4 December, 2005 – See more at: http://westwingwiki.com/2014/04/season-7-episode-8-undecideds/#sthash.z0J1gg11.dpuf
Lip service in this country must end.Eyes must be opened.The blind faith of justice revealed.Positive action needs to occur.Otherwise, the violence will never stop.
November Writing Challenge Update #2
I’m speeding right along with the November Writing challenge– staying on track with a blog a day and keeping up with my daily word count for the novel challenge.
I’ve picked up a number of new followers for this blog. (Welcome!) I’m finding it a lot of fun and sometimes pretty challenging to post every day. I hope my content continues to evolve as I explore different topics, getting closer to writing the blog I really want to write.
My current word count for the novel challenge is 32,633 words. I’m over halfway to the 50,000 word goal and still see this story going in so many different directions. I have a feeling I’ll be closer to 100,000 words before I’m done and ready to start editing.
Plot points are developing and the focus changing as I suddenly find secondary characters more interesting to write about. This free form writing has been really liberating and is pretty exciting. Sometimes I’ll go off in a direction and the words seem to pore out. When I’m done writing that day, I think, Wow, where did that come from?
There are times though, that the further along I get– the further away I feel I am from the end. Exploration was what this was all about for me, and I’m discovering a lot of things as I go.
The biggest thing is that I’m almost to the point where I feel comfortable saying, I’m a writer. I’ve loved writing since I was a kid but I’ve always allowed everything else to take priority over it. Stupid mistake.
I know I have a voice and stories to tell. Maybe I’m finally on to something.
A writer writes. A writer creates. A writer creates worlds where none existed. When a writer completes something. It’s theirs and theirs alone. That is, until it is shared. When it’s shared, the readers become owners and the ones that give it life. No two people experience the world of a novel the same way. It’s pretty fascinating.
Getting It Out of My Head
From the moment I wake up every morning my head is full. A song is playing in my head, a current event, my to do list, a dream, a person, a thought, an idea, a wish…. and they all take their turns circulating through, sometimes going head to head– sometimes waiting for their turn to be the focus, front and center in my brain.
There are a dozen things rushing forward that I want to do, can do or should do… a dozen things I want to write about, each one lighting another thought or idea; that new spark taking me down a different road.
“Sometimes I think my head is so big because it is so full of dreams.”
― John Merrick
You can probably tell, I don’t get bored too often. I do sometimes get frustrated trying to balance my thoughts and activities with the time I think I have to do them. Many of my thoughts relate to creativity with the back of my brain being filled with hundreds, if not thousands of partially thought out, half-developed ideas. Ideas that I’m not ready to put down on paper yet. Eventually, though, I do want to get them out of my head.
How much can our three pound brain handle? I looked it up. Various sources claim we each have somewhere between 12,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day. If accurate, those are some pretty incredible numbers.
My ideal (and unrealistic) solution would be to hook my brain up to a computer to output all my ideas into different files that I could sort, develop and then publish. I’ve found working on the novel and blog every day this month has helped me to get out of the habit of editing myself so much– as I go. My biggest challenge is getting the ideas out of my head first, fine tuning them later. I think so much faster than I type, so thoughts get lost.
My problem is that I like the details too much. If I can force out the original idea first, I think the important details will be triggered in my brain when I go back to edit and embellish.
I found a supposed, health site where people contribute their own diagnosis’ to people’s questions and there were some pretty interesting responses to this subject. Most suggested that if your head is constantly full of thoughts competing for your focus, you are either ADD or Bipolar. A few suggested it was a positive sign of a high IQ or high-functioning brain capacity. Suggested solutions beyond: seek medical attention, included: smoke pot or drink alcohol; drink caffeine; do yoga or meditate. I had to laugh.
I included the above paragraph, more for amusement than anything. I do want to comment though. That sampling of responses show, what I view as a significant problem in today’s society: label and medicate. Forget understanding, taking responsibility or control; don’t even try to change behavior or learn to harness it– make it a disorder and shove pills down its throat. That’s the answer to everything and it’s pathetic. I’m not putting down or trying to embarrass anyone that needs assistance. It’s just that in today’s society, there is no try when you can alter with medication instead.
Why do we have to consider thinking too much as a problem? Thinking sparks ideas, leading to innovations, actions and results. Not thinking leads to… well, what exactly? Not originality. Not creativity. Not solutions.
I’ll writing more on this later— but right now… something else is invading my brain. <wink>
The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli
November Writing Challenge Update #1 and Blog Milestones
I am participating in National November Writing Month and the challenge is to write every single day. National Writing Month was created as a way to challenge writers to complete a project, to network, and to publicize their work.
I’m actually participating on two levels, attempting to write a blog post every day and writing a complete novel in a month.
The Novel:
Working title: Muse Me
At the end of October, I asked for at least 30 people to help by each submitting a person, place and thing that I have to include in my novel.
So far I’ve written 16,929 words!
Since I’m writing free form and using the submitted words for inspiration, the storyline is still taking shape. Sometimes I feel like I’m on a rambling road and sometimes I find clear moments that will definitely define the structure of my finished draft. Not too much I’m ready to say right now except that it is a mystery of sorts and primarily takes place in Georgia.
The Blog Challenge
Nine days into November and I’ve written a new post every day. Right on Track! The more I write, the more the ideas keep flowing. Some posts take several days to write with research and finding my particular angle on the topic. I usually have several posts going at once.
For more information about National November Writing Month, see NaNoWriMo for writing a novel; and NaBloPoMo for the blogging challenge.
Blog Milestones
Friday I hit a milestone for this blog hitting over 15,000 views!
My blog has been viewed in 122 countries around the world!
I’m nearing my 150th blog post and I’m currently in a record run (for me) with new blog posts for 12 consecutive days.
I hope you enjoy what you find here. Comments are always welcome and encouraging!
Let me know what you think!
Being Human: A Life Without _____ Is A Life Not Lived
It’s hard to believe it’s getting close to a year and a half since I parted ways with my job.
It’s been quite a roller coaster. I’ve had a lot of changes to get used to, a lot of decisions to make; and most of all, I’ve had to get reacquainted with parts of me I’d forgotten, locked up or ignored.
There have been a lot of feelings going on in my head and it’s not always easy.
It’s called being human.
I’m about as human as they come. I could never be accused of being a robot. I tend to wear my passion for whatever I’m doing, on my sleeve; and as a result, I may come off a little intense and dramatic.
Out in the real world it is expected that you behave with a certain amount of coldness. Sometimes you’ll hear it referred to as: professionalism and decorum. This requires you to bottle things up and not be completely honest. That lack of honesty, my friends, is one of the biggest failures in our society’s increasing isolation. Real communication is becoming obsolete.
Time and time again, I have watched people sit completely stone-faced and not express themselves– when I know they have definite opinions or feelings on the matter. It’s really hard to watch. How do you interact with that? I know, I’ve tried it– how should I say it… in the name of civility… and I usually fail miserably.
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had to face is that the feelings and responses to the things around us aren’t always going to be considered appropriate. We have to be okay with that. I think of all the people that medicate just to avoid feeling and I never want to be in that place.
We can try to ignore and avoid our feelings… even feel guilty about them but then how much are we really living? How much are we really experiencing life? It’s not always necessary to express all our feelings to other people but we at least need to acknowledge them ourselves. Appropriate or not, our feelings are real— if only to us. The people with whom we engage have those feelings too. Everyone deals with things differently… the important thing is that they are dealt with and not ignored.
It’s far too easy to become numb and go through the motions of living.
It can happen for a number of reasons:
- We’re too busy, obsessed or focused on one thing; ignoring, or refusing to deal with everything else,
- Afraid to become emotionally involved; of being used or hurt,
- Lack of self confidence and feelings of inadequacy; fear of being judged,
- Expectations of professional demeanor, void of expression; always holding your cards close,
- Purely for self preservation; protecting your self, job, relationships or image,
When we allow ourselves to fall into any of these patterns, we start living a life without. We alienate ourselves and our selves. We may find the temporary protection we need to get through any given situation but if this becomes the way we deal with every day life, something is missing. We can become lost.
Being human is thinking, feeling and expressing through our experiences.
Life is joy, celebration and happiness— anger, heartbreak and tears. It’s connecting and sharing those feelings with others that make us human.
It’s important to feel things.
It’s important to express things.
It’s most important that we not lose who we are in the daily routine of survival.
Take away these human traits and what do you have left?
A big blank. A life without.
How Do You Measure 525600 Minutes? 