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The Arresting Rise of the Social Media Police
You type a few sentences, add a link or post a picture and hit SEND. Then the sirens start. WARNING! WARNING! The social media police are stalking you, ready to take you down.
Watch Out!
It was a pretty simple joke. I updated my status on Facebook with what was meant to be a humorous comment, referencing a current event. Tainted, of course, with a little sarcasm. I thought it was harmless and was surprised when a dear old friend took offense to it.
Is there anything at all that isn’t offensive to someone these days?
Social Media is a way for us to connect. We share our thoughts, what we’re doing, our hopes and dreams– we may reach out for support, ask opinions or look for some healthy debate. It’s called sharing. It’s called communication. We use it to keep touch and stay informed — maybe even learn a thing or two.
I’ve found that most posts in social media fall into three categories: I felt this, I did this, and I saw this (and I want to share it).
How is that a bad thing?
Even if you post something that might not be a popular opinion– it’s nothing more than an expression of who you are at that given moment. Doesn’t freedom of speech give you that right?
Is there such a thing as inappropriate content? Of course there is….. BUT Politics, religion, entertainment, current events, family– your life– is completely within your rights to share.
My Opinion
I seriously think there are a lot of people that should not be connected to social media. They aren’t capable of accepting what they find there– or allowing others to exercise their right to free speech. They don’t want to discuss or debate an issue they may disagree with– but they will judge you for posting it.
Do I read, like or comment on everything posted on social media? No, of course not. I do, however, respect the right of people to post it. If I want to engage with people about it, then I will. Most of the time though, people just want to get something off their chest, share a story or state their point of view. They aren’t really looking to have a conversation. That’s okay, too.
On topics I’m not interested in or disagree with — I just scroll on by. If it’s ‘fake news’ or something I feel strongly about, I’ll try to use it as a ‘teaching moment’ and comment. What I will not do, is criticize or state an opposing view that I am not prepared to back up. What would be the point?
That is where the social media police come in.
So exactly who are they?
They are the people that troll online, criticizing people and trying to regulate what they want to see. Don’t even try to please them because they will always find something wrong with your posts.
They are the people that don’t like a specific thing– sports, politics, religion, even cuteness– and issue ultimatums. Usually, that will include the threat that they will delete you or stop following you, if you don’t submit to their demands. They think it is their right to control you.
It becomes difficult when the attacks come from someone you respect, love, work with, or from family. The bottom line is: maybe you (and they) need to stick to other ways to connect. Avoid the rush and get off social media if you can’t handle it.
I’m a political person. Even so, after the above mentioned friend threatened to delete me for my politics, I did a quick look back. Of my past 50+ posts on Facebook, only 10 (20%) had anything to do with current events (not counting entertainment industry posts) and not all of those were even political. For the ‘average’ person– is that too much if that’s what interests them?
Would you tell a mother not to post pictures or stories about their child? Would you tell an actor or musician not to share their work? How about someone fighting cancer or a sports enthusiast? Should they stop posting specific things because you say so? It’s ridiculous.
Sure, I’ve unfollowed some people and even deleted a couple. I’ve never bullied them. At the same time, some of my most favorite people (on social media) are those with whom I have diametrically opposing views on certain issues. Because — we can talk about it, maybe debate it and also even sometimes joke about it. We show respect for one another. I think we enrich each other’s lives because we are open-minded enough to want to learn and understand each other. We’re better people because of it.
Advice to the Would Be Social Media Police
Get off social media!
It’s that simple.
No one has the right to try and control another person. Stop being a bully. You are not the center of the universe. If you don’t like what you see on Facebook or Twitter? Close your account. Shut down your computer. Take a walk. Breathe.
I think if you’re the type of person that just wants to see pictures or cute posts of puppies and food– there are still probably email lists you can sign up for to get your daily dose.
Don’t like what you’re seeing? Your misery and controlling nature doesn’t need to be forced on the rest of us who might actually appreciate the diversity of the world.
Knowledge is power. Acceptance is the key.
If you really don’t like what your friends are posting, maybe you’re just too afraid of learning something new. Or maybe, you really just don’t like your friends.
You decide.
The Disturbing Truth About Social Media
The ugly truth is that social media is becoming less about engaging and connecting- enriching our lives; and more about attacking and spreading untruths.
Do you think before you post? We’ve all been guilty at one time or another of sharing a post or link without investigating it first: Like the reoccurring Facebook privacy-protection posts. Hopefully, we can all learn that its better to check it out first before we spread false alarm to our friends.
There’s a lot of anger and hate online. Lately, I’ve witnessed a lot of business owners using their personal accounts to attack and smear their competition. They post negative and misleading comments and reviews– even though they’ve never used their competition’s services.
Can you defend your posts on hot button topics? Are you willing to?
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram… what do they mean to you? Do you primarily rely on them to keep in touch with others? Make new connections? Do you believe everything you read?
What is social media?
Social Media: forms of electronic communication (as Web sites for social networking and microblogging) through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content (as videos)
Social Networking: the creation and maintenance of personal and business relationships especially online
Do you use social media the same way today as you did, say, two years ago? I keep asking myself how long social media will remain the phenomenon it has been or whether its popularity is starting to die off. Many of my friends barely even post anymore. A number of them have begun deleting their accounts. With all the negativity, it’s no wonder why.
Bullying Online. There is a frightening trend of hateful and often unfactual content online. More and more people attacking others for their personal opinions, calling names and even harassing individuals and businesses without cause.
I find myself getting more and more worked up over the insensitive and hateful nature of so much that is being posted through social media– particularly Facebook. Anonymity of online identities versus face to face confrontations is allowing brazen cowards to spew hate and bully other people for having opinions.
People that attack others online– and there are a lot of them– aren’t doing anything more than showing their ignorance.
Agree to Disagree? What happened to free speech and open debate? I just had someone delete my (polite) comments after they posted some derogatory comments about a political figure. They didn’t represent all the facts. My comments were not disrespectful or aimed at the poster– I just wanted to clarify and perhaps shed some light and encourage them to look at the situation in a different way. They really couldn’t disagree with my comments because I was stating fact- not merely taking a position. Instead of challenging, discussing or debating the issue; they just deleted my comments and added even more hateful (unsupported) comments of their own.
In another recent exchange, I had what I thought was a wonderful debate with this same individual over an entirely different issue. See the mixed signals here?
If social media ceases to be an open platform for the exchange of thoughts and ideas- what is the point? If you post something, do you really expect everyone to agree with you? If everyone does agree with you, what was the point of posting it to begin with?
Fact is Fact. This is true. BUT anyone can spin a situation to make the actual facts support their position. You also have to remember- everything that is stated as fact– isn’t. I have a general rule that if something doesn’t make sense, or I want to back up a position; I try to find a minimum of 5 agreeing sources before I’ll accept it as probable truth. This often means I have to search beyond the media-bias reporting from agenda-based websites that will regurgitate the same thing from another similar site, without researching its authenticity. Is it a fact, is it a commentary, or is it a lie?
Social Connection. Life isn’t always exciting. Sharing what some may consider ‘mundane’ things is perfectly fine with me. The idea is staying connected.
You want to get your opinion across– that’s understandable. Do you know when enough is enough or when your simply beating a dead horse?
In my world of social media, I’ve started unfollowing people that post the same negative content over and over. I don’t do it just because I may disagree with them. If that’s all they post and they never share anything of personal interest to me or about their own lives; then they are just clogging up my news feed. If unfollowing them doesn’t do the trick, then I delete them all together. I won’t tolerate unfounded hate and ignorance as anyone’s only form of communication.
The positive influences of social media are being overshadowed. The potential for good is being diminished.
In terms of longevity, social media is still quite new. It’s still evolving. Unfortunately, that evolution is taking a dark turn where hate can be expected and ‘fact’ cannot be relied on.
It’s time we bring back accountability and respect to all of our interactions. Especially online. If we want to stay connected to one another through social media we need to practice kindness and tolerance. The alternative is only a click away.
Facebook Messenger: Are You Being Watched? What’s the Hype?
There’s been a lot of talk and concern over the past week about the new User Agreement for the Facebook Messenger app that some feel they are being forced to use. How much of it is actually hype?
Let’s cut to the chase: Are you being watched? The answer is YES!
If you use a computer, cell phone (it doesn’t have to be a smartphone!), book reader (such as a Kindle) or other communication device– Your every move is being tracked. Who you talk to, text, where you are located, websites you visit, what you buy online… all of it is being tracked and is stored on computers somewhere. Law enforcement is increasingly using such tracking to assist in solving crimes.
So what’s the big deal about the permissions required by the Facebook Messenger app? Well maybe, if nothing else, it’s a reality check for so many of us that use technology with blind faith. Most of us don’t read user agreements and some would be quite surprised at the permissions thy are giving devices and apps. Doing so, doesn’t mean that any normal privacy issues will be violated but the possibility of a breach is real and should be taken into consideration.
Agreeing to and installing Facebook Messenger does not mean your every move is going to be recorded and broadcast from your phone. You have to agree to certain provisions just so you can use the technology. If you want the ability to share pictures and contact people then you have to give the app the permission to share those pics (on your behalf) and make those connections. It doesn’t mean a third party is spying on you. But is it possible? Sure it is. Unlikely, but possible.
To better understand this issue, I highly recommend you reading the article on the www.snopes.com website. As opposed to me rehashing all the concerns here, you can view them in a well thought out outline on the site. It gives you a balanced look at the concerns, the reality and the possible consequences of using the Facebook Messenger app. More important, it points out the fact that most of us have given far greater permissions through use of our apps and devices than those being requested here.
I polled friends on Facebook to see how many were using or deleting the FM phone app and the results were split. Twenty-eight people responded and more than half said they would continue to use the app, though some felt forced to use it and some had concerns over the privacy issues they were taking. Some said they would only use the online messenger built into the Facebook site and others were deleting the app because they felt too exposed.
If anyone is truly concerned about what is being unintentionally shared, a bigger concern should be your browser and email provider. Registered Google users should know by now that the websites you visit, your email, your contacts and personal information are all scanned and searched for keywords and then recommendations made, advertising targeted and information shared without your intentional permission.
In some cases, the only way to avoid these invasions are to avoid particularly aggressive developers as much as possible. Free isn’t free. Google survives on selling your information and on referrals it makes based on your account. Your free email account, for them, is a marketer’s dream.
We all have, or should have privacy concerns, especially regarding our personal and financial information. Identity theft and the security of our financial information should be our top priority. This is not in question here. What we have to keep in mind, especially regarding social networking, email and messaging, is that there are legitimate risks to take into consideration.
If you don’t want to share your life as an open book, you really need to actively investigate what you post and share and check any ability you have to limit who views it. Anything you share electronically, even in private conversation, is subject to be shared beyond your control. I’m not even referring to being hacked or having your information used by the app or device developer. The person you are communicating with, could, without your permission, share your pictures, comments or information with someone else.
For instance, a private comment you make to a friend about another person electronically, could be shared by the recipient,with that person, without your permission. Think before you post. If you don’t want your employer to know what you are doing when you are away from work… don’t post it publicly online. It’s that simple. I’ve caught many people in half-truths by looking at their online activities.
I’m constantly amazed by some of the things I’ve seen people post, not imagining that there could be a controversy or some unintentional fallout. Your online persona does matter. There are privacy settings with many apps and devices that can limit who can actually see what you post— BUT you can’t prevent the recipient (friends) from sharing with a third party.
As technology advances and we take advantage of our connectivity, our lives become more and more transparent. If, for what ever reason you need, or want, to maintain a high level of privacy– avoid all forms of social networking. Know the risks, be informed and make the decisions that are best for you.
Is there some big conspiracy by Facebook to use their messenger app for covert activity? Very doubtful– but you can never be too careful.
The bottom line is that Facebook Messenger is as safe to use as most every other app you are already using. I’ve been using it for quite some time now and have yet to experience any drawbacks or bad experiences with it. As Facebook becomes more and more about advertising dollars and less about connecting with friends, it makes messenger more valuable as a connecting tool than the Facebook site (or app) itself.
But just wait, soon enough you’ll be marketed to on messenger as well.
Can You See Me Now? My Facebook Experiment
Last Wednesday was Cash’s 11th birthday and instead of just posting a picture of him on Facebook to share and commemorate the occasion, I decided to try a little experiment.
I decided to mimic those never-ending pictures on Facebook of people holding signs asking for LIKES of help with something, that flooded Facebook for a while.
Background
A lot of my Facebook friends have been complaining about the newsfeed and not seeing current updates from their friends. Have you noticed? It can be confusing when you see posts popping up from the previous day, when you didn’t see them before, even though you checked. Yes, you can switch between top news and most recent. Still, some friends’ posts don’t show up in either one. So what’s going on?
Facebook is supposed to be a way for people to connect and friends to stay in touch. Many people have been sharing important news on Facebook, as their primary form of communication, instead of spending hours making phone calls or sending email. This is especially beneficial when time is an issue, or the news is something that you really don’t want to have to repeat over and over again. Sometimes though, and more frequently now, those posts aren’t showing up. I’ve known people to get hurt or angry because friends didn’t respond, LIKE or comment on their news. They trusted Facebook as a reliable forum to share their news, only to be let down by the current, unpredictable algorithm that is mysteriously sorting what we see.
So how are you supposed to stay in touch when you can’t see what your friends are posting? First, this isn’t entirely true. You can always go to your friends’ page and see everything they are sharing. The problem comes into play when users have many friends and pages they follow and rely on the newsfeed and notifications to keep them informed. That used to be pretty efficient. Now, the wizards at Facebook are controlling what you see and frequently pushing things your way you have no desire to see. Ads and recommended pages and products are here to stay.
Have you also noticed, if you access Facebook from different computers or your phone app, you get different results? The other day a post showed up on my phone from a friend that I hadn’t seen any posts from in awhile. (I had just figured he was busy and taking a break.) Then I saw it had actually been posted a few days before but was showing up now– presumably, because it received new comments. I checked my computer again and it definitely was not showing up in either my newsfeed or notifications. I went to his page and saw he had posted quite a bit, some important stuff– but somehow Facebook decided I shouldn’t see that information. My own family’s posts don’t show up half the time!
On the other hand, there are some people’s posts that never seem to stop. A few I haven’t messaged, LIKED, or commented on, in over a year. Yet, I see everything they do! It just makes no sense.
My personal message to Facebook is : Please, stop censoring what I see. I chose to be friends with these people (or follow a company, group or fan page)… Let me decide if I want to read their content! Just PLEASE stop blocking it and making that decision for me.
Results
Here are the results of my experiment. Realize this isn’t very scientific but it gives you an idea of what all the confusion is about. It might also give to a look into the reach of your audience. The LIKE and SHARED numbers included the measurable friends and friends of friends, viewable on Facebook.
The picture was posted with the PUBLIC setting at approximately 9 am, Wednesday April 23, 2014
My current number of Facebook friends: 873
Number of People that LIKED in the first 10 hours: 248
Number of People that LIKED in the first 24 hours: 465
Number of SHARES in the first 24 hours: 166
Number of LIKES to date (approximately three days): 811
Number of SHARES to date: 711
Number of LIKES from the SHARED List: 1182
Number of Friend SHARES: 16
Number of Friend of Friends SHARES: 215
Number of Friends that said they used Facebook on 4/23 but did not see my original post: 10
As I said, this wasn’t very scientific, so some of the numbers don’t match up. I suspect there could be overlaps and some may not show accurately based on people’s privacy settings.
Another thing I noticed was that it took more than 24 hours for the info to update and combine the totals on the picture. The total number of LIKES and SHARES changed by about 10, as I was writing this.
Favorite SHARED comments from friends of friends (and beyond):
- Awwww… if he won’t give you a steak, just bite him. You need a steak!
- At 77 yrs old who can deny you!
- At 11 you should have steak every night for dinner!
- Omg, I just fed my two doberman’s steak for dinner, and they are no where near 11…bless his heart visit me, I will feed you steak!!!!!!
- Le ne maradjon a steakről!!
- FERST FATWA OF DAYE! YOU SHARE, GET DOG STEAK! IS PERMIT!
- A steak for an 11 year old dog would probably kill his pancreas. (This is a terrible thought… but it made me laugh anyway.)
- If he put up with u for 11 yrs. lol! Buy him a steak any way!!
The last one was my favorite!
From what I can tell, quite a few of my friends never saw the original post. I’m also sure many scrolled right by it without LIKING or SHARING it. In either case, don’t depend that your friends are seeing your posts. I’ve started tagging people in the comment section, or sharing with them directly, if I want to be sure they see it.
And YES, Cash got his steak.
DELETE ME… Please!
In case some people didn’t get the memo… Facebook is a social networking site. It is a place where people can choose their friends based on shared interests, backgrounds and real life relationships. A social networking site allows users to share interests, ideas, events and yes, even what they ate for dinner. You can join groups, follow artists and businesses and make connections in ways that would otherwise be nearly impossible for most people. It is not a site for censorship. It is a site for shared experiences.
FRIEND as defined by Merriam-Webster
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem
b : acquaintance
2 a : one that is not hostile
b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion
The other day a friend bitched at me about one of my posts on Facebook.
Seriously? Do you really think your 500 ‘cute kitty’ posts don’t annoy anyone?
Honestly, I don’t really care. It is what it is. You can post whatever you what, whenever you want… and you can post it as many times as you want. It doesn’t affect me. I can choose to read it, ‘hide’ it, ‘LIKE’ it and if I really agree or disagree with you– I can comment on it and we might actually have a social engagement, once referred to as a conversation about it. But– I’m not going to try and censor you and you shouldn’t try and censor me. Our society has an increasing difficulty communicating these days. If you don’t want to engage your friends is conversation, sharing your thoughts and ideas, or to be engaged– why are you on Facebook?
The last time I checked, we still have freedom of speech in this country. People are going to talk about current events, politics, things that make them laugh and things that make them sad. If you are going to use social networking sites: Deal with it! Yes, during the presidential debates, Hurricane Sandy, the playoffs… the News Feed is going to be clogged with posts by people who are engaged by these activities and events. There’s a reason there are settings and controls that allow you to adjust what and how you view content. If you continually get annoyed and are not computer literate enough to know how to adjust your settings: Maybe social networking isn’t for you.
There’s another option. It’s called the DELETE button.
Don’t like what I have to say? Delete Me. Do I post too much? Delete Me. Are you incapable of entertaining a viewpoint that is different from your own or so intolerant that what I say makes your blood boil? Delete Me. Please.
If you only want to engage with people that look like you, sound like you, talk like you and think like you… You might want to invest in a cocoon. ‘Cause, baby– there ain’t no one else in the world like you. You are unique. We all are. Social networking gives us the opportunity to share our unique perspectives with people all around the world.
Think about it– it’s pretty amazing. What I’m talking about in Elgin, Illinois might actually have some relevance to someone in New York City, London or Zambia. You or I might actually have something to say that can impact someone’s life on the opposite side of the globe.
But not if you hit DELETE, and not if you live in a cocoon.
That’s just my opinion.
My Facebook Addiction
Today's Pic: Collins Attacking The Chia Cat Grass
Addicted to Facebook? Why, thank you, yes I am. Facebook is always up on my computer. I’m not staring at it 24/7 but it’s always open. I love the ability to reconnect with old friends, stay in touch with current ones and make new friends as well.
I’m the type of person that can’t just sit and watch television. I always have to be doing something else to keep my mind occupied. I used to work on a variety of crafts while the TV was on… then I was selling books on Ebay… and now, Facebook.
I can proudly say that I’ve recovered from my Farmville addiction. I no long try to schedule my free time around planting and harvesting crops and fertilizing friends’ farms. Now I’ve moved on to about a dozen games I play on a regular basis.
The most important thing that Facebook contributes to my life is the ability to connect with others. I’ll frequently troll friends’ pages, hijack a conversation, or attempt to be witty and lighten someone else’s day. I can actually keep up with what my family is doing and encourage them along the way. Sharing and viewing pictures is fun and I absolutely love the new timeline format. It actually forced me to figure out how to use my scanner so I can go back and scan old photographs to add to my timeline, tagging friends along the way.
In addition to the ability to share life’s joys and sorrows across the miles, the most fascinating aspect I’ve discovered is who I chat with most. I’ve found Facebook has allowed me to build great friendships and carry on some pretty amazing conversations with people I never would have connected with, in the same way, through other forms of communications. I look forward to chatting and teasing a couple of my high school friends daily. Friends that weren’t in the same cliques back in school. It’s really made me realize how important people are in our lives–how they can enrich our lives– and how much we can miss out by not connecting.
I actually had over 180 people wish me “Happy Birthday” yesterday… including an award winning actor and a Broadway Diva! Before Facebook, I might have received a couple calls and a few cards… see a few friends for dinner… but Facebook allows us to be there, no matter where we are in the world. For that, I am extremely grateful. Right now I have 748 friends on Facebook. Yes, some are gaming friends, some are celebrities I like to follow but most are actually people that have played an important role at some point in my life. We may no longer be in the same place or have the same interests that originally connected us… but Facebook allows us to stay connected, even if only marginally, for many years to come.
Chia Cat
Today’s picture is of Collin’s munching on the infamous Chia brand’s Cat Grass. I broke a piece off and gave it to him the other day and he played with and ate it. Yesterday, he found the planter on the counter and proceeded to entertain himself, rubbing his face in it and munching. As soon as I got up this morning, he followed me downstairs and was up on the counter munching away before I could even turn on the light. Go figure. I wonder what he would do to the Chia Obama?
How Do You Measure 525600 Minutes? 