Home » Posts tagged 'self acceptance'

Tag Archives: self acceptance

Being Human: A Life Without _____ Is A Life Not Lived

Cloud 1It’s hard to believe it’s getting close to a year and a half since I parted ways with my job.

It’s been quite a roller coaster. I’ve had a lot of changes to get used to, a lot of decisions to make; and most of all, I’ve had to get reacquainted with parts of me I’d forgotten, locked up or ignored.

There have been a lot of feelings going on in my head and it’s not always easy.

It’s called being human.

I’m about as human as they come. I could never be accused of being a robot. I tend to wear my passion for whatever I’m doing, on my sleeve; and as a result, I may come off a little intense and dramatic.

Out in the real world it is expected that you behave with a certain amount of coldness. Sometimes you’ll hear it referred to as: professionalism and decorum. This requires you to bottle things up and not be completely honest. That lack of honesty, my friends, is one of the biggest failures in our society’s increasing isolation. Real communication is becoming obsolete.

Time and time again, I have watched people sit completely stone-faced and not express themselves– when I know they have definite opinions or feelings on the matter. It’s really hard to watch. How do you interact with that? I know, I’ve tried it– how should I say it… in the name of civility… and I usually fail miserably.

One of the biggest realizations I’ve had to face is that the feelings and responses to the things around us aren’t always going to be considered appropriate. We have to be okay with that. I think of all the people that medicate just to avoid feeling and I never want to be in that place.

We can try to ignore and avoid our feelings… even feel guilty about them but then how much are we really living? How much are we really experiencing life? It’s not always necessary to express all our feelings to other people but we at least need to acknowledge them ourselves. Appropriate or not, our feelings are real— if only to us. The people with whom we engage have those feelings too. Everyone deals with things differently… the important thing is that they are dealt with and not ignored.

It’s far too easy to become numb and go through the motions of living.

It can happen for a number of reasons:

  • We’re too busy, obsessed or focused on one thing; ignoring, or refusing to deal with everything else,
  • Afraid to become emotionally involved; of being used or hurt,
  • Lack of self confidence and feelings of inadequacy; fear of being judged,
  • Expectations of professional demeanor, void of expression; always holding your cards close,
  • Purely for self preservation; protecting your self, job, relationships or image,

When we allow ourselves to fall into any of these patterns, we start living a life without. We alienate ourselves and our selves. We may find the temporary protection we need to get through any given situation but if this becomes the way we deal with every day life, something is missing. We can become lost.

op7Tn.jpgBeing human is thinking, feeling and expressing through our experiences.

Life is joy, celebration and happiness— anger, heartbreak and tears. It’s connecting and sharing those feelings with others that make us human.

It’s important to feel things.

It’s important to express things.

It’s most important that we not lose who we are in the daily routine of survival.

Take away these human traits and what do you have left?

A big blank. A life without.


Don’t BLOG about it!

Aside from my last post, I realize I haven’t written many blog posts lately. I could give the standard, I’m so busy– don’t have time line but the real reason is that most of what I have been passionate about is probably best left unwritten. You see, my intention really isn’t to offend or alienate anyone but I know it’s bound to happen sooner or later.

After a previous post, my boss gave me some friendly advice… Be careful what you put out there, people respect and value what you have to say. Then I think to myself, But if I have no opinions or interesting comments… what’s to value or respect? I did get the intent of that message though and I definitely realize that publishing my opinions do have an effect on the way I am perceived. That said, I can’t always be motivating and inspiring and I also don’t want my blog to be a constant rant about what’s wrong in the world I live in. I hope to bring a balance or a comfortable blend to my writing. I’m definitely open for topics to consider. Shoot me an email or comment here if you have suggestions.

I actually have about a dozen half-written posts waiting for me to complete. Sometimes its difficult when other things are weighing on my mind to write coherent posts. It might seem from the brevity of most of my posts, that they wouldn’t take long to write but they do take several hours at least. Some ideas mull around in my head for days (months even) before I actually attempt to verbalize them.

As the school year comes to a close, a lot of memories have flooded my mind of when I was in school. I have a lot of good memories and remember that most of my elementary and high school years were pleasant overall– but those aren’t the ones that stick prominently in my brain. It’s the difficult times I remember most– being bullied, coming to terms with who I was and often feeling alone and afraid.

Those experiences helped bring me to where I am today… I try to be a go-to person for students needing an ear– a safe place where it’s okay to be an outcast. I just wish everyone knew it’s okay to be different and express yourself. It’s so difficult to watch people fight who they really are, to be accepted for what they are not. I understand because I was there, I lived that once.

I’m hoping to share some of those experiences in future posts.

The biggest problem with writing a blog about your life experiences is that it’s not just your life. Aside from the differences in our perceptions of how and what actually happened, you have to take other people’s feelings into account. It’s difficult but I think there are lessons to be learned and I’m up for the challenge.