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The Blue Balloon
Monday was the first nice day this year, where it was actually warm enough to sit out on the front porch and enjoy a cup of coffee without shivering between sips. I can’t recall, specifically, what I was daydreaming about— but my thoughts were suddenly interrupted when out of the corner of my eye, the sight of a light blue balloon drifting across the front yard came into view.
It was hovering for the most part, about a foot or two above the ground, dragging its fresh and clean, matching blue ribbon behind it. It would pause momentarily, the ribbon appearing to latch on to anything in its path— but then the balloon would tug at the ribbon and it would resume its journey.
When it reached the sidewalk that runs from the porch to the front gate, it suddenly lifted up, dancing its way through the branches of the lilacs that border the path, about ten feet in the air. By this point, I was thoroughly mesmerized and couldn’t help wondering where it was going and where it had been.
Did it escape from some unlucky child’s birthday party? A child, sheepishly letting go of the ribbon under the disapproving glare of their parents— Who, minutes before had told them not to let go?
Was it tied to a sign, alerting passersby of some impending open house or sale? Bored by the inactivity, did it tear itself free with the first convenient gust of wind that came to its rescue?
Had it drifted down, sorrowfully, from someone’s memorial balloon release? After climbing high in the sky, helping some poor mourning soul release some of their pent-up grief— it drifted far out of sight and had started its own descent in search of a final resting place?
Whatever had been its original, intended purpose, it had suddenly assumed a life of its own and become a part of mine.
As I followed it, I found myself getting very philosophical. My head filled with metaphors… all because of this silly blue balloon.
There are things happening all around us that often go unnoticed. Life is happening all around us. Sometimes it’s refreshing to let go of our all important tasks, open our eyes, and see things with a new, undetermined clarity.
Like this balloon, people drift in and out of our lives. Some stay for a while, becoming friends or co-workers, while other simply pass through hardly noticed. This is not to say that there is not always some impact, great or small.
Some of us find ourselves wandering, searching, exploring life– propelled by the winds of change, adapting to our surrounding, then moving on until we find the place we belong.
After a while, the balloon ended up being trapped between the front shrubs and our fences. The wind was picking up and the temperature was starting to drop. The balloon started to deflate and was forced to roll about, back and forth, trapped in the narrow path between the shrubs and fence. The ribbon continued to wrap around rocks and twigs, holding on as long as it could, until the wind would once again give the balloon the momentum to break free.
I went back to my tasks, for a time— but then later, went back out to check on the blue balloon. It had somehow freed itself from its spot and was all the way across the yard to the west. I’m not sure how it got there but it was now dirtied and shriveled, appearing to finally be at the end of its journey.
It got dark, I forgot about the blue balloon and life went on.
When the sun came up Tuesday morning, I thought to look for it again. I went to where I last saw it, looked all around, but it was gone. I had thought its life was over— I was wrong. It journeyed on.
I’ll let you fill in the metaphors here.
Happy travels.
Proud Five-Zero (50) !
The day final came. Goodbye Forties, Hello Fifties. I know a lot of people have trouble with milestone birthdays but I’ve actually been looking forward to this one… Not to be older but reaching that benchmark. In this day and age, there isn’t the same stigma and ageism that existed years ago. Okay, so I know it’s not completely gone but you even see less and less of the once popular over the hill merchandise (thankfully) than was so frequently used say, ten to twenty year ago.
Age is just a number. I could insert a dozen more cliche sayings here but I’ll spare you. We all, hopefully, evolve as we grow older. We’re a conglomeration of all our experiences, good and bad; as well as all the people that have influenced our lives. I don’t believe in being a victim of circumstance. We have many choices throughout our lives that lead us to where we are now. The choices and experiences of our lives, those we choose and those we can’t control, are just small pieces of our whole being. We choose what we do with that and who we become.
This past year has been a time of deep personal growth for me, or of self awareness… Moments that have really mattered. I think I was about forty-five when I found myself thinking, ” I have to do (or accomplish) _____ before I’m fifty.” Now I know none of that really matters. Without leaving life to chance, I trust I’ll reach the goals and accomplishments I need to complete in my lifetime. I have a purpose and I do impact others. I don’t always needs a specific measure of that.
I was born December 29, 1962 at 12:01 AM. (My poor mother!) I marked the occasion with with my partner Michael, and my dear friend Amee in Times Square at the exactly 12:01 AM this morning. The perfect start to what promises to be a memorable day.
For those approaching the big five-zero— have no fear. I feel no different today than I did yesterday. Only now, I can say I’ve lived a half century.
Here’s to the next fifty years.
Don’t BLOG about it!
Aside from my last post, I realize I haven’t written many blog posts lately. I could give the standard, I’m so busy– don’t have time line but the real reason is that most of what I have been passionate about is probably best left unwritten. You see, my intention really isn’t to offend or alienate anyone but I know it’s bound to happen sooner or later.
After a previous post, my boss gave me some friendly advice… Be careful what you put out there, people respect and value what you have to say. Then I think to myself, But if I have no opinions or interesting comments… what’s to value or respect? I did get the intent of that message though and I definitely realize that publishing my opinions do have an effect on the way I am perceived. That said, I can’t always be motivating and inspiring and I also don’t want my blog to be a constant rant about what’s wrong in the world I live in. I hope to bring a balance or a comfortable blend to my writing. I’m definitely open for topics to consider. Shoot me an email or comment here if you have suggestions.
I actually have about a dozen half-written posts waiting for me to complete. Sometimes its difficult when other things are weighing on my mind to write coherent posts. It might seem from the brevity of most of my posts, that they wouldn’t take long to write but they do take several hours at least. Some ideas mull around in my head for days (months even) before I actually attempt to verbalize them.
As the school year comes to a close, a lot of memories have flooded my mind of when I was in school. I have a lot of good memories and remember that most of my elementary and high school years were pleasant overall– but those aren’t the ones that stick prominently in my brain. It’s the difficult times I remember most– being bullied, coming to terms with who I was and often feeling alone and afraid.
Those experiences helped bring me to where I am today… I try to be a go-to person for students needing an ear– a safe place where it’s okay to be an outcast. I just wish everyone knew it’s okay to be different and express yourself. It’s so difficult to watch people fight who they really are, to be accepted for what they are not. I understand because I was there, I lived that once.
I’m hoping to share some of those experiences in future posts.
The biggest problem with writing a blog about your life experiences is that it’s not just your life. Aside from the differences in our perceptions of how and what actually happened, you have to take other people’s feelings into account. It’s difficult but I think there are lessons to be learned and I’m up for the challenge.


