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The Arresting Rise of the Social Media Police
You type a few sentences, add a link or post a picture and hit SEND. Then the sirens start. WARNING! WARNING! The social media police are stalking you, ready to take you down.
Watch Out!
It was a pretty simple joke. I updated my status on Facebook with what was meant to be a humorous comment, referencing a current event. Tainted, of course, with a little sarcasm. I thought it was harmless and was surprised when a dear old friend took offense to it.
Is there anything at all that isn’t offensive to someone these days?
Social Media is a way for us to connect. We share our thoughts, what we’re doing, our hopes and dreams– we may reach out for support, ask opinions or look for some healthy debate. It’s called sharing. It’s called communication. We use it to keep touch and stay informed — maybe even learn a thing or two.
I’ve found that most posts in social media fall into three categories: I felt this, I did this, and I saw this (and I want to share it).
How is that a bad thing?
Even if you post something that might not be a popular opinion– it’s nothing more than an expression of who you are at that given moment. Doesn’t freedom of speech give you that right?
Is there such a thing as inappropriate content? Of course there is….. BUT Politics, religion, entertainment, current events, family– your life– is completely within your rights to share.
My Opinion
I seriously think there are a lot of people that should not be connected to social media. They aren’t capable of accepting what they find there– or allowing others to exercise their right to free speech. They don’t want to discuss or debate an issue they may disagree with– but they will judge you for posting it.
Do I read, like or comment on everything posted on social media? No, of course not. I do, however, respect the right of people to post it. If I want to engage with people about it, then I will. Most of the time though, people just want to get something off their chest, share a story or state their point of view. They aren’t really looking to have a conversation. That’s okay, too.
On topics I’m not interested in or disagree with — I just scroll on by. If it’s ‘fake news’ or something I feel strongly about, I’ll try to use it as a ‘teaching moment’ and comment. What I will not do, is criticize or state an opposing view that I am not prepared to back up. What would be the point?
That is where the social media police come in.
So exactly who are they?
They are the people that troll online, criticizing people and trying to regulate what they want to see. Don’t even try to please them because they will always find something wrong with your posts.
They are the people that don’t like a specific thing– sports, politics, religion, even cuteness– and issue ultimatums. Usually, that will include the threat that they will delete you or stop following you, if you don’t submit to their demands. They think it is their right to control you.
It becomes difficult when the attacks come from someone you respect, love, work with, or from family. The bottom line is: maybe you (and they) need to stick to other ways to connect. Avoid the rush and get off social media if you can’t handle it.
I’m a political person. Even so, after the above mentioned friend threatened to delete me for my politics, I did a quick look back. Of my past 50+ posts on Facebook, only 10 (20%) had anything to do with current events (not counting entertainment industry posts) and not all of those were even political. For the ‘average’ person– is that too much if that’s what interests them?
Would you tell a mother not to post pictures or stories about their child? Would you tell an actor or musician not to share their work? How about someone fighting cancer or a sports enthusiast? Should they stop posting specific things because you say so? It’s ridiculous.
Sure, I’ve unfollowed some people and even deleted a couple. I’ve never bullied them. At the same time, some of my most favorite people (on social media) are those with whom I have diametrically opposing views on certain issues. Because — we can talk about it, maybe debate it and also even sometimes joke about it. We show respect for one another. I think we enrich each other’s lives because we are open-minded enough to want to learn and understand each other. We’re better people because of it.
Advice to the Would Be Social Media Police
Get off social media!
It’s that simple.
No one has the right to try and control another person. Stop being a bully. You are not the center of the universe. If you don’t like what you see on Facebook or Twitter? Close your account. Shut down your computer. Take a walk. Breathe.
I think if you’re the type of person that just wants to see pictures or cute posts of puppies and food– there are still probably email lists you can sign up for to get your daily dose.
Don’t like what you’re seeing? Your misery and controlling nature doesn’t need to be forced on the rest of us who might actually appreciate the diversity of the world.
Knowledge is power. Acceptance is the key.
If you really don’t like what your friends are posting, maybe you’re just too afraid of learning something new. Or maybe, you really just don’t like your friends.
You decide.
Life Through My Eyes
Eyes wide open.
Staring at the world
Taking it all in
Enjoying the good things
Surviving the bad
Questioning it all.
I started this blog several years ago to share my thoughts. I think I often have an interesting perspective on life and wanted to share that with others. I have a voice and I wanted to be heard.
Everyone has a story. A tale to tell.
For whatever reason, I’ve often felt like I’m on the outside looking in. Even when I’m in the middle of it, part of me is watching from a distance.
I’ve started dozens of posts over the past year and a half– with a hundred more ideas locked in my brain. Aside from my travel posts and those about my furry children– most have gone unpublished. Unread. Silenced or self-censored.
I became completely obsessed with Presidential election, cable news and the expansive concerns that have divided America. At times, it could be so overwhelming that it was paralyzing. It seemed to invade every waking moment of my day.
The lines between broadcast news, journalism, social media, advertising and ‘fake news’ have become so blurred many people don’t know what to believe. Unfortunately, to the detriment of society, too many people will believe anything they hear. Anything they want to believe, that is.
Well, I’m over it. My silence is about to be broken. If I can help or at least entertain with my words, so be it. I may hurt or anger a few people. If I can educate or open a few people’s minds along the way, then I’ll be achieving my goal.
I may not be an expert on some topics but I also won’t post blindly. I believe that even posting an opinion requires some research and justification. We can’t help who we are or what we believe; though helping others understand the backstory can make the picture more clear. Truth? Fantasy or fiction? In today’s burgeoning mecca of information it’s often difficult to tell.
I don’t want to write about just one topic because that’s not who I am. Theatre, Film, Animal-Lover, Writer…. Nature, Politics, Travel, Equality… History, Restoration, Photography, Reading, Cooking and Gardening… the Human Experience… these are the things that contribute to my psyche and make me a whole person. In daily life, my mind can jump from topic to topic in an instant. I want to share just some of what I see and what I feel. We may not agree– but by communicating there is a place where we can connect. We all have a common ground though many are afraid to approach it.
I’m going to write about it. I’ve been guilty of posting things on Facebook that require more than a one sentence proclamation or allegation. People have become too sensitive and judgemental and often aren’t willing to accept other people’s right to self expression. They aren’t afraid to tell you, you are wrong– yet refuse to defend or debate in a respectful manner.
Some of my posts may be short and hopefully, to the point. I think this blog may be a better platform to express myself. Besides, more than likely, those people that want their Facebook feed to be nothing but ‘cute’ memes and puppy dogs won’t bother to read it anyway.
I just don’t get it. It is easier than ever to communicate with the world. So why are so few people willing to listen?
Lucky.
Cash, January 2016.
Sunday when I took Cash up for his nap -okay, our nap- I gave him his treat but didn’t throw a few of his toys on the bed like usual. Not that he actual played with them– more than anything I think he just liked having them around him. Seeing this, Cash took matters into his own hands (paws) and somehow managed to open the door to Belle’s crate and took her bone. With it hanging out of his mouth like an oversized, cartoon cigar he climbed up on the bed, turned around in circles and laid down– pressed against me– to go to sleep. Michael had Belle and Dudley in the other room, so this time was just about us.
I have a lot of memories like this- simple, not profound but beautiful.
My boy.
Cash.
Cashman. Boogey. Boogers. Boog. Goofy. Goof. Son. Brother. Big Brother. Baby Boy. Old Man. My Cash.
Yesterday, I had to say goodbye. Time simply ran out.
Twelve years and nine months. He outlived his sister by just over two years and has been my constant companion since then.
But it was time.
Saying Goodbye.
I thought I was losing him twice earlier in the day but Cash always was a fighter. He hung in there. He hung in through the ride to vet, where they were able to give him medication to make sure he was comfortable and he hung in until Michael could get there.
Nose to nose and staring into his eyes I told him I loved him. I told him it was okay to let go. I whispered it was time for him to run and find his sister. Nose to nose I felt him take his last breath.
Through it all I tried to stay calm, to not cry, to reassure him. When he was finally gone– through the sadness and grief– more than anything I felt lucky.
Lucky.
Cash was a gift. The last two years when I really got to know him and bond with him on a different level were the greatest gift.
Lucky.
Fall 2015
I’ll miss his smell. I’ll miss the upturned corners of his mouth–that I call a smile when I’d kiss him or stroke his fur.
I’ll miss him pretending to sleep, one ear flipped up so he can hear what’s going on and not miss anything.
I’ll miss Michael getting out of bed every night when it was time to go to sleep and kneeling at the end, scratching his ears and covering him in kisses.
I’ll miss Cash waiting for me at the door, begging for treats, snuggling with me on the couch and in bed… his guilty looks… his playfulness.
And most of all– those eyes. I’d swear looking into his eyes connected our souls.
So very Lucky.
Cash and Dudley Two Weeks Ago.
Before posting on Facebook, I posted the following:
I want everyone reading this to stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, take a deep breath– and be grateful for all the good things you have to be thankful for. Life comes with no guarantees. The only thing certain– is this moment.
I wanted to share– but not make this all about me. Grief and loss is something we all experience throughout our lives. So many times we get caught up and forget the important things.
Earlier this month, it seemed a lot of friends were experiencing grief and loss. I found and posted this:
When we got home from the vet, we let the babies out and I had to plug my drained phone into the charger… next to Cash’s empty food bowl. A while later, I opened the refrigerator to find his half can of dog food, covered in foil, staring me in the face. Little moments of grief and remembrance. There will be a lot of those moments over the coming weeks. The empty space on the couch, toys only he played with, tags in drawers forgotten long ago. It’s all part of the process.
Within hours of posting on Facebook, over a hundred people has expressed their condolences. Reminding me once again that I am so Lucky.
At bedtime, there wasn’t even any discussion. Belle and Dudley got their peanut butter, their crates were left open and they both climbed up on the bed. They played a little before settling down and going to sleep. I didn’t sleep well– but mostly because it’s hard to sleep with a sixty-pound boxer pushing me to the edge and snuggling with her head on my chest– snoring softly. I was blissfully uncomfortable.
So very, very lucky.
Cash & Roxie as puppies.
Thank you Alyssa Davis for putting this together.
Cash and Belle. 2014.
One of my most favorite pictures of Cash and I.
Send a Christmas Card & Save the World
Have you mailed your Christmas cards yet? Do you send them out or have you stopped altogether? What if you could actually save the world; or perhaps closer to home- a life — by the simple act of mailing a holiday card? The title of this post may seem a little over dramatic but I stand by the sentiment and I’ll explain why.
No, there is no gimmick or marketing ploy here. I don’t work for a greeting card company and I make this suggestion out of sincere concern for where our society is headed. We are rapidly tossing out traditions in the name of progress and the overused phrase, ‘being more politically correct’. We can say we’re too busy or we’re saving money…. but why not be willing to say you’re too lazy or just don’t care?
I’m not judging anyone here. I realize this just isn’t important to some people. If you choose not to send out cards– for whatever reason; that’s fine by me. BUT– if I can encourage you to just consider participating in this time-old tradition… then it was worth my time.
I just read an opinion piece by someone who is sending out their cards (this year) for the last time. Some of their justifications are: a) not getting enough cards in return, b) thinking the recipient will be disappointed if there isn’t a gift card or cash inside, c) it takes too much effort, and d) it’s easier to just send a message online.
I understand how someone might come to these conclusions but I also think they are shallow assumptions and, well– just plain wrong. I also see some of those excuses as just plain selfishness.
Who doesn’t like receiving Christmas cards? (Unless, it’s because it makes you feel guilty for not mailing them out?) The comments from people attached to the above mentioned story all disagreed with the author’s perceptions and want to receive cards. They like this traditional token of holiday cheer.
So how can a silly thing like sending a card save the world?
Here are a few of my points to consider:
- Communicate, connect, share. Show someone you care. Isolation can be a terrible thing. Your act of thoughtfulness could be the only positive thing someone experiences today. You may be reaching out to someone in desperate need. Someone you know may be feeling completely alone and disenfranchised. You’re card could go a long way to brighten someone’s day.
- So much Conservative emphasis is on the cause of world problems being the fault of the breakdown of the family. One of the ways families stay connected is through holidays and traditions. As society places less value on the family, society starts to fail. Whether it’s a biological family, chosen family or coming together as a community— society needs ways to connect that are positive and unite us– giving us strength. Eliminate traditions… eliminate family and a peaceful society is the next to go.
- Can’t afford to send everyone gifts? Why not a simple, heartfelt note inside a card? This can mean so much more than a gift that will soon be forgotten. A few kind words letting someone know you are thinking of them can go a long way.
- The Christmas card tradition keeps many people in different industries employed. Authors, artists & designers, sales, marketing, transportation… all benefit.
- “It’s easier to say Merry Christmas on Facebook.” Yes, it is easier. It takes no effort at all. I’m not belittling the sentiments– I’m saying it isn’t the same thing. AND– not everyone will see it. If that’s your substitution– it isn’t working.
- “Christmas cards are a waste of money and negatively affect the environment.” Not true. Many cards are made of recycled paper and can be recycled again. The paper industry, by it’s very existence, contributes positively to the environment through replanting and maintaining forests and environmental systems.
- “Christmas cards aren’t PC.” Really? The celebration of Christmas goes far beyond religion. How many people do you believe are really offended by Christmas cards? If this is a concern of yours: How about a generic holiday card? It’s the idea behind the card that counts. It’s letting someone know you are thinking about them.
Sure, a Christmas card can be viewed as a small, meaningless thing. How about parades? Can we get rid of those next? And Fourth of July fireworks? Do we really need to celebrate birthdays anymore? If you take cards, along with many other small, meaningless things away– what are you replacing it with? What do you have left? We are slowly chipping away at many of the elements that have allowed society to connect and to function successfully for many years. Individually, they don’t seem like much but they are a small part of a whole.
It’s all about living and sharing.
Call, write, visit…connect. let someone know you care.
Here’s an idea: I’ll go one better… you can get rid of Christmas cards but throw an annual holiday party for all your family and friends instead. Is there any better way to connect and express your appreciation than in person? Holidays are for sharing. Nothing is better than being there and sharing an experience. Only, you’ll have to make sure they’ll all be able to attend on the date you select.
Of course, you’ll also have to send out invitations…. which is a card…
The Post I Wasn’t Going To Write
I wasn’t going to write a September 11th blog post today. I’ve written several already, along with posts on the National September 11th Memorial and Museum. No, today, after changing my Facebook cover photo, posting my favorite Memorial picture on Instagram and watching the coverage in New York and Washington; I had intended to remember privately.
I also wasn’t going to write about something else (directly connected) that has really bothered me for quite some time.
Such is life– things changed. So here I sit and write.
In the past, most of my posts have been structured with a specific point. This one is going to be a little more free-thought.
A few hours ago I was scrolling through Facebook and saw I was tagged in a post from a former student, then a post from another student and one from a teacher-friend. Plans changed.
When I was working at Bartlett High School, I wrote a play called, September’s Heroes; an ensemble, multimedia production; performed in honor of the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I’ve been stalling getting it published because I felt it still needed some work. In any case, had things gone the way I planned, September’s Heroes should have been on stage tonight. (I’ll get back to that later.)
Three Posts On Facebook. Natalie is an incredibly gifted young actress currently studying theatre at the University of Miami. I had the privilege of working with her and she was one of the key ensemble members in the cast of September’s Heroes. This morning, Natalie posted this:
“On September 11th, 2011, I walked off the Bartlett High School stage with tears in my eyes because I was so moved by the story of “September’s Heroes” that I had just shared with the audience. This was the first time I had reacted so viscerally to a piece of theatre. Each year I grieve for the souls we lost in 9/11 — each soul that didn’t get to finish their story. I am proud to be a theatre maker. And proud to be an American.”
Then I found a post by another student in that production that moved me for similar reasons. Ken wrote:
“It’s necessary to remember 9/11 as an important part of our history. To readily mourn the innocent lives lost that day and the graphic images captured of the tower collapsing.
However, its just as important to acknowledge the level of Islamaphobia that followed 9/11 that continues to haunt muslim folks, south asian folks, and everyone ‘mistaken’ as such still today .
Both the pain of those that lost loved ones on 9/11 as well as the families that continue to feel endangered today matter.
Acknowledging the former without recognizing the latter is being downright selective of the kind “American” history you want to remember.”
In September’s Heroes, Ken had a monologue we referred to as “Hate” calling attention to the rise in fear and open racism that was a by-product of the 9/11 attacks. Now, Ken is becoming a voice– an activist; speaking out for minority rights. He current studies African & African American Studies at the University of Minnesota.
The third Facebook post by Charlie, a teacher-friend that I know from past theatrical productions wrote:
“9-11 isn’t even a memory to those I now teach. It is something they (may) have heard about…wow. As Ferris said, life moves pretty fast.”
Three different people. Three different posts. All three, unknowingly giving me a kick in the butt to do something I’ve put off for too long. Publishing September’s Heroes.
How Today Was Supposed To Happen. In June 2014, I started the process of securing space from the City of Elgin to produce a season of five shows, two weeks each at the Elgin Art Showcase. September’s Heroes was to be one of those shows. It should have– it would have been on stage tonight if it hadn’t been for the irresponsible actions of a city employee.
From the time I began the process, I dealt with three different people responsible for booking the space. The first left (who kept putting me off, delaying the process), the second was filling in (and tried valiantly to be accommodating with my requests) and then there was the third: the newly hired coordinator for the space. She flat out told me I couldn’t have the dates because she wanted them, even though they had already been promised to me.
I need to back up and say that I had also applied for this coordinator position. I had more than enough qualifications and experience, I’m an Elgin resident but I didn’t even get an interview. I was later told (by an insider) that the person they hired had already been tapped for the job, before the opening had even been posted. On top if that, she doesn’t live in Elgin (city officials claim to favor residents first) and she already holds a conflicting position, managing another space downtown. Strangely, her space is constantly active, while the Art Space sits empty.
Of the ten weeks I wanted, there has only been one, two-hour event in the space during the entire list of dates I had requested. It was nearly the end of last October before I was given contractual dates. At this point, it was already too late to successfully publicize the first two shows. I planned to release all but the last two bookings but when I discussed this (through email) with the new coordinator, she told me I couldn’t have the September dates, she was using them for her event. So I cancelled them all.
It turns out, IF they are using the space, it’s not on the city calendar AND the event (which is happening) isn’t until next week. My production of September’s Heroes could have gone on. At no point was I ever contacted and told that I could, in fact, have those original dates I had requested.
Yes, I’m bitter about this. I’m bitter about not being given consideration for the job and more so for having dates I had been given– in writing, taken away from me and then not used. The city pays a lot of money to subsidize this space and due to poor management– it sits empty. Yet another example of Elgin’s waste of taxpayer’s money.
Moving On and Being Inspired. So September’s Heroes is not on stage tonight but that’s not the end of it. Thanks to the inspiration of friends, I’m working on a new edit of my script to publish. Hopefully it will see productions for next year’s fifteenth anniversary.
Theatre moves, educates and inspires people. There is a whole new generation of children in school that weren’t even born when the terrorists attacked. They need to know the story. They need to hear about the heroes and the innocent people that lost their lives that day.
One Last Story. I want to end with this. I may have shared it before but if I have, it bares repeating. One of the people that ‘liked’ one of the Facebook posts this morning, is the mother of another one of the young actors that was in September’s Heroes in 2011. I didn’t really know him very well (at the time) besides the fact that he was talented and very polite. During the rehearsals, I got the feeling he was having a little trouble connecting to the material.
In January 2013, I chaperoned a student trip to New York and he was also on the trip. Besides seeing Broadway shows, we toured a little bit of the city and visited the National September 11th Memorial. We stood at the two pools that form the footprint of where the World Trade Center once towered over lower Manhattan. It was there that I saw this strong young man, emotional, as it all became real for him. It was a touching moment. An important moment that I’ll never forget.
It reminds me constantly of the power of theatre… the importance of history… and the necessity of telling and retelling the story.
It’s our duty to share, remember and #neverforget.
Love Is Love
My profile picture with the FB celebratepride filter.
I have to say I didn’t get too emotional yesterday with the announcement of the Supreme Court’s decision in support of gay marriage. Maybe because I knew it was still only a small step– a very historic step— but still just a small step towards acceptance and equality in the United States. Perhaps it’s because I’m a little numb from a lifetime of exposure to hate and bigotry. When I was in my late teens and early 20’s, I never thought I’d see this day.
The court’s decision isn’t going to instantly change people’s opinions. Only time will accomplish that.
But then this morning, as I scrolled through my Facebook Newsfeed, something happened. Not only were there a myriad of posts celebrating the landmark decision– friend after friend had also changed their profile pictures, using the celebratepride filter, overlaying the rainbow pride flag over their image. I found myself incredibly moved.
It suddenly became real to me.
Love equals Love. Equality gives way to the very Freedoms we are supposedly all guaranteed in the Constitution. Maybe there is Hope. Maybe Amerika can become America again– or maybe even, for the first time.
Every step we take in this country to remove Hate, opens the door to love and acceptance.
Gay marriage can now just be called marriage. Eventually, Gay pride may become an unnecessary celebration and can give way to American pride. It’s all about Equality. Each and everyone of us equal.
Some of the love being shared on Facebook.
I think it’s important to be consciously aware that the Supreme Court’s decision was not a strike against Christianity. Many people are choosing to take it that way; and I find it extremely sad and nearly pathetic. The fight was never about changing anyone’s religious beliefs; it was the always about equal rights under the law. In ancient times, marriage may have only been strictly viewed as a religious contract– not anymore. There are too many rights under the law regarding married people to maintain that defense.
Love is Love. It transcends gender and race. It is more powerful than contracts, vows or religion.
All we need is time.
The Gratitude Challenge
As Thanksgiving approaches, I thought I’d post my Gratitude Challenge posts from Facebook that I participated in at the end of September. There are various versions of challenge circulating and I think its a great way to share the important things we are thankful for in our lives. It’s also a great way to share more about yourself; and reading others can help you get to know them better. I did a seven day challenge. There are also 5 day, 21 day, 30 day, etc. When you complete the challenge, you are supposed to nominate others to participate.
Gratitude Challenge Day 1:
Carol Lange challenged me yesterday but I’m in a computer transition so I’m having to do this from my phone…
Today’s 3 are:
Michael. My rock, my support, my everything. He keeps this dreamer grounded, challenges me and believes in me when I stop believing in myself.
I’m grateful for my furry children. They fill me with joy and love and teach me something new every day.
Finally, humility. I am not the best or better than… Perfection is an unattainable goal that I strive towards daily but know I will never achieve. I am humbled each day by the brilliance I see in nature and the unheralded good I see in other people.
Gratitude Challenge -Day 2:
I’m grateful for family. Particularly, my parents, always leading by example; continuing to challenge and teach me throughout my life…some of the most important lessons, probably unintentionally. 😉
I’m grateful for the bad days that have taught so much and make me appreciate the good days.
And third, I’m grateful for hope and faith. There’s always something better and more exciting around the corner. The good things in life sometimes come from the most surprising places!
Gratitude Challenge – Day 3:
I’m extremely grateful for my friends- old and new, young and old- for all the color they bring to my life.
I’m grateful for all the amazing advances in technology that have occurred in my lifetime, making it so much easier to connect and stay connected around the world.
And third, I don’t know what I’d do without that moment of silence during the day; when everything is peaceful and all the thoughts that rush in and boggle my brain are able to unwind and give me a simple moment of clarity.
Gratitude Challenge -Day 4
I’m grateful for ART in all it’s many forms particularly theatre which incorporates so many disciplines.
My TALENTS whatever level they may be – that have been an important part of my entire life.
I’m so incredibly grateful for all the wonderful people I’ve had the opportunity to work with in theatrical endeavors. You’ve all helped shape me into who I am today. And I am so proud to watch so many careers grow and goals achieved. So much thanks to Christine Sherrill, Dave Hahn, Rachel Boller, Amy Marik and so many others for allowing me to be an avid spectator and humble fan! Dreams can come true!
Gratitude Challenge – Day 5:
I’m grateful for DETAILS. Seeing the big picture is one thing but it’s the little details and nuances that truly make something that’s good- great.
EDUCATION. Not the BS public education but really learning how to THINK. I refuse to ‘drink the kool-aid’. There’s always two sides and the truth is usually somewhere in between. I learn something new every single day. Learning is life-long and makes us better, stronger people.
Third, there are two guys that I’m grateful for that have been a big inspiration to me over the past year: Billy Surges and Josh Conrad constantly remind me of my own goals and dreams and what it is the fight, conquer and succeed.
Gratitude Challenge -Day 6
I’m grateful for the seasons, especially fall. Having spent most of my childhood and teen years in Florida, I appreciate them even more.
I’m grateful for the past year and opportunities I’ve had: I got to co-direct one of my bucket list shows with one of my favorite people, got a tremendous amount of work done on the house; and though as heart breaking as it was- I was able to be at home when Roxie took her last breath and then to see Cash through the difficult transition.
Finally, I’m grateful for my life. This crazy life, with all it’s unexpected twists and turns. I’ve already had more opportunities, been more places and experienced so much more than many people get in their entire lifetime- and there’s still so much more on the horizon!
Gratitude Challenge – Day 7
(Last one!)
I’m grateful for low carb cheat days– I mean, I can’t live entirely without pizza!
I’m extremely grateful for three women with whom I spent more than a quarter of my life; bringing the joy and passion of musical theatre to more than 1,000 participating students. Kathy Boller, Gay Rupert & Marsha Vanek, I learned so much from you about so many things. It was truly an honor.
And finally, I’m grateful for all my ‘cheerleaders’ who have inspired me throughout my life to always be better. I hope you all know who you are. There’s not enough space to list all of you and I’m afraid I might forget to tag someone. Just know your support means the world to me and a kind word can make all the difference in someone’s life.
The End.
I’m always invited to these challenges late in the game so as opposed to challenging specific people, I challenge everyone that reads this to do the Gratitude Challenge. Five days or seven. Share with the rest of us what makes your life better. It will do your heart good!
Return To the Land of Nunya
Once upon a time….
In the not so distant past, was the mystical kingdom of Nunya–
Where personal lives and decisions were private– and
Everyone had the freedom of choice, of
What to share and what to keep to themselves.
Then Nunya was consumed by the larger world called Internet–
And Social Media became the rule of law;
Privacy and Personal Space disappeared–
No one was safe.
Nunya ceased to exist–
Everyone was obligated to be an open book.
Nunya was no more.
“It’s none of your business.”
Nun-ya Business.
Nunya = none of your.
Does anyone say this anymore? Does anyone else ever feel like they want to say it? If you wanted to, would you?
One of the draw backs to the social media phenomenon is the disappearance of privacy. Some things don’t need to be shared publicly. Sometimes you may, or do feel obligated to share things that you never would have before.
I’m all for freedom of speech, everyone’s right to share anything they want to share, and I personally– find some people’s openness refreshing.
Sometimes I wonder how many people share things and then regret them later. Anybody?
The only time I feel pressured is when I’m asked questions– that I know are only a launching point for someone’s alternative agenda. They want you to respond, already knowing what you are going to say, just so they can tell you you are wrong or how they would have done it differently?
Does that help anyone? Is it just being mean-spirited?
You and I both know when the questions are innocent and sincere; or motivated by something else.
What would happen if, when we are asked, “How… ” or “Why… ” We responded, “None of your business.” I know some people, including myself, find it easier to not respond at all sometimes.
“How did you lose so much weight?”
“Where did you get that…?”
These are two of my favorites WHEN I answer and the follow up response is– “Oh. Well, I would NEVER …..” Heard that before?
But I didn’t ask you, you asked me. So what’s your point?
Next time, I may just say NUNYA.
The Best Things In Life Are Free
From the time we are children, it is drilled into our head that nothing in life is free. Everything has a price. You get what you pay for and vice versa. This is supposed to to teach us appreciation for things, as well as the importance of hard work (to get what we want) and success. If you want something bad enough, you’ll work for it. While this is true, it also places so much emphasis on material things and status that I think many people miss the really best things.
Ask yourself: what’s your favorite thing in the world? Most of the time, the things we come up with are free.
Reading a book, sleeping in late on the weekend, a walk on the beach, hugs or affection from children or pets….. these are things I think of and hear most often. Sure, you may have to buy the book, sleeping in may come with a sacrifice of time, if you don’t live near a beach– you have to get there, and children and pets are expensive to care for. That’s not the real point. When you look at it that way, you buy into a negative world view.
I find the things I appreciate the most; and are the most memorable to me, may be what you’d consider residuals.
I hate even using that word because depending on your comprehension of it, it may sound like I’m trivializing it.
Take going on a vacation, for example. Michael and I have found we really like to travel and have dream destinations and vacations we’d like to take in the future. Well, that’s certainly not free, you may be saying to yourself; but after it’s said and done, what was the best part of the vacation? What do you remember the most?
Yes, you probably remember: I went here, I went there; I did this, I saw that– What was really the most memorable part? Was it the plane ticket or hotel? Was it really the location or what you did? For me, I remember the planning and anticipation, and no matter how great or how bad the actual trip is; the very best part of it is time and connection Michael and I have. The experience is great but it’s the shared experience that’s the most memorable.
When the vacation is over, I always hate going back to the routine because then I feel this big disconnect… I crave that time together experiencing new things, connecting and not being easily distracted from the daily routine of life. I go through Michael withdrawal.
Our dogs have always had a good life but we really try to make it even better. Since we got Belle, our daily routine has changed, less time in front of the TV and more play time with Belle. Since I get so much time with her during the day, Michael usually plays with her while I’m writing or spending time with the boys. I’ll come down for awhile too and we play with her together. You can’t buy that quality time. Those are memories you don’t forget.
I love my quiet time too. An early morning cup of coffee before anyone else is up; feels so good and helps me start the day right. That’s free.
Those unexpected expressions of love from companions, children, pets and friends are also priceless and free.
Belle can be a real handful– then out of the blue, she calms down and crawls in my lap or licks my face. Free and priceless.
A friend messages on Facebook, calls or stops by unexpectedly— free and priceless too.
There are so many things to appreciate and cherish. The residual effects of life can be the most rewarding.
Sometimes we just have to stop, look and listen.
The best things….the free things are right there under our noses.
It’s Beginning To Look A lot Like….
No, I’m not going to say the big “C” word, although it is coming quick. And, no, I haven’t started decorating the house either.
It’s beginning to look a lot like… Here’s your chance to fill in the blanks!
I am participating in National November Writing Month and I’m hoping I can get at least 30 people to help! Be my muse!
I’m actually participating on two levels this year. I’ll be attempting to write a blog post every day for the month of November and writing a complete novel in a month.
Pretty crazy, huh?
What I Need
I’m looking for at least 30 people (30 days in November) to act as my muse and contribute a person, place and a thing that I will have to incorporate in my story as it develops. You can contribute either by leaving your suggestions here in the comment section, or on Facebook in the comment section linking to this post.
Person– This could be a first name or full fictional name. Help me name my characters!
Place– This is pretty open, be creative. Avoid countries. Fictional businesses, towns, rooms, settings, etc.
Thing– Could be an item, emotion or an action (i.e.- a saw, insanity or kidnapping). No Brand names of items please.
I’ll use everything that is submitted, some way, some how in the story. This will be a work of fiction but not fantasy or Sci Fi so avoid suggestions that might only work in those genres.
I’ll also accept suggestions of topics for future blog posts.
What It Is
National Writing Month was created as a way to challenge writers to complete a project, to network, and to publicize their work.
In a nutshell, the goal is to write every day for the whole month of November.
In the novel challenge, you should have a complete novel by the end of the month; and for the blog challenge, you should have published 30 new blog posts.
If you are interested in participating (writing) yourself, you can find out more at NaNoWriMo for writing a novel; and NaBloPoMo for the blogging challenge. It’s free to sign up and there are plenty of resources to get the creative juices flowing.
Watch It Grow
1) My Blog: Watch for new blog posts each day during the month of November. I’ll write about a wide variety of topics, maybe post photos, and share some of my favorite things. The best way to follow my progress is to sign up to follow me using the link in the right column of this blog.
2) The Novel: I’m totally relying on you to steer the direction of my novel. I haven’t decided if I’m going to post updates daily through my blog– but in the end, I’ll be sharing my finished product that you can help me create. It will not be SCI-FI or Fantasy, I’m just not familiar enough with those genres. I’m going to start with general fiction and see where it goes… could be a mystery or even a romance. Maybe both. We’ll have to wait and see how you inspire me!
Priority for inclusion will go to people that submit to me by November 1st. Let’s get started!
How Do You Measure 525600 Minutes? 