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November Writing Challenge Update #1 and Blog Milestones
I am participating in National November Writing Month and the challenge is to write every single day. National Writing Month was created as a way to challenge writers to complete a project, to network, and to publicize their work.
I’m actually participating on two levels, attempting to write a blog post every day and writing a complete novel in a month.
The Novel:
Working title: Muse Me
At the end of October, I asked for at least 30 people to help by each submitting a person, place and thing that I have to include in my novel.
So far I’ve written 16,929 words!
Since I’m writing free form and using the submitted words for inspiration, the storyline is still taking shape. Sometimes I feel like I’m on a rambling road and sometimes I find clear moments that will definitely define the structure of my finished draft. Not too much I’m ready to say right now except that it is a mystery of sorts and primarily takes place in Georgia.
The Blog Challenge
Nine days into November and I’ve written a new post every day. Right on Track! The more I write, the more the ideas keep flowing. Some posts take several days to write with research and finding my particular angle on the topic. I usually have several posts going at once.
For more information about National November Writing Month, see NaNoWriMo for writing a novel; and NaBloPoMo for the blogging challenge.
Blog Milestones
Friday I hit a milestone for this blog hitting over 15,000 views!
My blog has been viewed in 122 countries around the world!
I’m nearing my 150th blog post and I’m currently in a record run (for me) with new blog posts for 12 consecutive days.
I hope you enjoy what you find here. Comments are always welcome and encouraging!
Let me know what you think!
Dreaming of the Open Gate
The Dream
It’s a typical day. Seems pretty ordinary. I’m outside and walk around the corner of the house to see our front gate standing wide open. A momentary panic suddenly washes over me and I rush into action. Where are the dogs? Did they get out? Where they stolen? Who left the gate open and why? Must find the dogs!
Then I usually wake up.
Sometimes, I’ve been so startled, I sit up abruptly in bed. I check and the babies are sleeping soundly. I usually can’t go back to sleep and I get up. Not so much because the dream rattled me but more just because I’m fully awake.
The dream has many variations. Usually it’s the front gate but some times it’s the back one. The seasons in my dream may be different but not necessarily the current one. Sometimes its even the house door standing open and I’m worried the cat got out. (Collins is an indoor cat but has gotten out on several occasions.)
We all have reoccurring dreams that haunt us, don’t we?
Does it mean what seems most obvious?
Yes, I can be overprotective of my kids. Yes, sometimes we find our gate is standing open. I don’t have the dream regularly, months can go by sometimes. I’ve had variations of this dream for at least ten years, when Cash and Roxie were just puppies.
The dream always stops with me discovering the gate, thinking I’ve got to close it and wanting to check on the babies. They never actually get out in the dream and I never actually close it in the dream.
I had this dream Friday when I was napping with the babies. That morning, the front gate was standing wide open in real life. This time in the dream though, it was the back gate– it wasn’t just open, it was like someone had driven through it destroying it completely. A new variation.
So I know what triggered the dream– but does it mean something deeper?
I researched online, more than a dozen dream interpretation sites; all saying pretty much the same thing. I couldn’t find anything specific (dogs getting out, etc.) beyond focusing on open gates in dreams.
In dreams, an open gate is interpreted to represent a transition, a change, or a new chapter. It could be a change in awareness or level of maturity; a passage from one phase of life, or from one situation to another. A closed gate symbolizes ones inability to overcome or not ready to move on. Gates represent obstacles in life. If you walk through then you are moving on, if you close it or it is closed, you aren’t ready or maybe you are afraid you aren’t prepared for what’s to come.
To relate this to my life– when I first had this dream, I was working in a job that while rewarding in many ways; was limiting my professional growth and creativity. Now, as I continue my search for the right job, I know that I don’t want to be in the same situation again. Interviews have not yielded a job offer. I’ve toyed with ideas of some options but nothing has presented itself as the right thing yet.
So if I was to interpret the crashed gate, I’d have to say it might mean there’s no turning back. I’ve evolved beyond the past and I’m ready for something bigger.
But what exactly?
It’s something to ponder, for sure.
Or, maybe it’s just what it is at face value:
A Dad’s fear, protecting his furry children.
Being Human: A Life Without _____ Is A Life Not Lived
It’s hard to believe it’s getting close to a year and a half since I parted ways with my job.
It’s been quite a roller coaster. I’ve had a lot of changes to get used to, a lot of decisions to make; and most of all, I’ve had to get reacquainted with parts of me I’d forgotten, locked up or ignored.
There have been a lot of feelings going on in my head and it’s not always easy.
It’s called being human.
I’m about as human as they come. I could never be accused of being a robot. I tend to wear my passion for whatever I’m doing, on my sleeve; and as a result, I may come off a little intense and dramatic.
Out in the real world it is expected that you behave with a certain amount of coldness. Sometimes you’ll hear it referred to as: professionalism and decorum. This requires you to bottle things up and not be completely honest. That lack of honesty, my friends, is one of the biggest failures in our society’s increasing isolation. Real communication is becoming obsolete.
Time and time again, I have watched people sit completely stone-faced and not express themselves– when I know they have definite opinions or feelings on the matter. It’s really hard to watch. How do you interact with that? I know, I’ve tried it– how should I say it… in the name of civility… and I usually fail miserably.
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had to face is that the feelings and responses to the things around us aren’t always going to be considered appropriate. We have to be okay with that. I think of all the people that medicate just to avoid feeling and I never want to be in that place.
We can try to ignore and avoid our feelings… even feel guilty about them but then how much are we really living? How much are we really experiencing life? It’s not always necessary to express all our feelings to other people but we at least need to acknowledge them ourselves. Appropriate or not, our feelings are real— if only to us. The people with whom we engage have those feelings too. Everyone deals with things differently… the important thing is that they are dealt with and not ignored.
It’s far too easy to become numb and go through the motions of living.
It can happen for a number of reasons:
- We’re too busy, obsessed or focused on one thing; ignoring, or refusing to deal with everything else,
- Afraid to become emotionally involved; of being used or hurt,
- Lack of self confidence and feelings of inadequacy; fear of being judged,
- Expectations of professional demeanor, void of expression; always holding your cards close,
- Purely for self preservation; protecting your self, job, relationships or image,
When we allow ourselves to fall into any of these patterns, we start living a life without. We alienate ourselves and our selves. We may find the temporary protection we need to get through any given situation but if this becomes the way we deal with every day life, something is missing. We can become lost.
Being human is thinking, feeling and expressing through our experiences.
Life is joy, celebration and happiness— anger, heartbreak and tears. It’s connecting and sharing those feelings with others that make us human.
It’s important to feel things.
It’s important to express things.
It’s most important that we not lose who we are in the daily routine of survival.
Take away these human traits and what do you have left?
A big blank. A life without.
Suicide: Grappling With the Unimaginable
Four years ago the world lost a beautiful, creative, brilliant young girl who touched and forever changed my life.
Her senior year in high school, as the student assistant director, she’d been an important driving force behind our spring musical’s success and such an incredible help to me. She set a new standard for how effective, given the opportunity, student leadership at our school could be.
I saw her only twice after she graduated. We kept in touch online and she seemed to be doing well in college but then suddenly she was gone.
The death of Robin Williams brought back all the pain and grief I experienced back then.
I’ve felt the need to write about this for quite some time; particularly in the past week. (Her birthday.) Knowing the right words to say is another story.
Grappling with the unimaginable.
As a writer, I want to tell stories to share with readers about topics and events that have had an impact on my life. As a writer, it’s extremely difficult not to romanticize, in an effort to engage an audience.
I don’t want to romanticize this topic.
The fact is, suicide is not a solution. All it does is magnifies the pain and sadness, transferring it on to other people.
In 2011, someone in the United States died by suicide every 13 minutes.
It was the 10th leading cause of death with 39,518 reported suicides in the U.S. According to the World Heath Organization, there are over 800,000 deaths by suicide, globally, each year.
i found a list published by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention that they have asked all media and writers on the topic to share:
DO:
- DO include links to treatment services, warning signs, and suicide hotline (1-800-273-TALK (8255).
- DO include stories of hope.
- DO monitor comment sections to identify hurtful statements, or people expressing suicidal thoughts.
- DO contact an expert on suicide to get the facts.
- DO report suicide as a health issue.
AVOID:
- AVOID showing videos or photos of the method or location used.
- AVOID framing suicide in terms of success: do not say committed suicide; do not say suicide attempts are successful or failed. Instead say died by suicide.
- AVOID romanticizing the death.
- AVOID describing suicide rates as skyrocketing, or as an epidemic, or other strong terms.
- AVOID publishing text from a suicide note.
- AVOID quoting police or first responders.
- AVOID describing a suicide as inexplicable or without warning.
I realized after reading this list, that telling my story really wouldn’t really help anyone. If anything, I could risk trivializing or making an antidote out of a tragic event.
For the survivors of suicide, the long lasting effects can leave them immobilized. Grief, depression, helplessness, anger and guilt are often experienced and difficult to overcome.
Do you know what I really hate? I hate the stigma attached to the following terms: mental illness, mental disorder and mental health.
There is a common accepted belief that you are either normal or mentally ill. I find this extremely offense and inaccurate.
What is normal? In all of humanity, no two people are, or have ever been, exactly alike. So how can we define anyone society as normal?
Not only do we all look, think and feel differently; we also experience different sets of circumstances and react to them differently.
Normal tends to insinuate that there are people that are superior and mentally more healthy than others. It creates a stigma against people that live within any extremes. The need to define or classify us all leads some people to feel marked, separate and extremely alone.
Grappling with suicide: trying to understand or accept, is a long. difficult journey. Searching for answers that don’t exist is incomprehensible.
Here is a list of resources that might be helpful for understanding and coping with suicide and depression:
Blind Hate
I’ll never understand what causes people to become so enraged and be so hateful.
Believe it or not, everyone was not born to hate and everyone was not born a hateable stereotype.
Where does hate come from? Is it jealousy? Partiality? Being disrespected? Envy? Ignorance? Or is hate purely based in fear?
At what point did hate become the acceptable alternative to loving all mankind?
Hate is an extreme, passionate emotion, just like love. Are we strictly taught to hate? In the process, do many people even bother to think about it logically and try to discover the origin of it in their own lives?
All hate doesn’t evolve into violence. All hate does affect behavior and the treatment of others. Sometimes the vehemently caustic words so easily expressed by some, are more damaging than actual physical violence enacted by others.
We often see hate expressed violently in correlation to religion, race, politics and class. At what point did these groups become nothing more than targeted and often, victimized stereotypes? Granted, it’s much easier to hate a group than it is to hate an individual. It certainly saves time. If someone really wants to live in an isolated bubble then hating, by definition is a simple solution. Why waste time getting to know people as individuals?
Hate+ Isolation= An Ignorant, Fear-Filled Life
In social media, you see so many people expressing feelings, judging others and many times probably not even realizing, that what they are doing is hurtful. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. People really need to realize that the way they express their opinions can come across as hateful and hurtful to others; even if it is unintentional. I completely defend everyone’s right to freedom of speech and practice it myself, frequently. But, I believe there is more danger in the words of those– that unknowingly, express hatred towards others than those that side with, and identify with openly defined hate groups.
Politics is one of the most visible arenas for acceptable expressions of hate. Parties disagree. We all understand that. Threats and total disregard for another viewpoint without any credible validation? Unacceptable.
It’s an election year and we have candidates perpetuating hate on both sides. In effect, what I hear from politicians is quite often the exact same accusations and promises, twisted to their benefit, according to what they think the public wants to hear. Or, at least enough people to get them elected.
Politicians are hypocrites and thrive on contradiction. Politics has become a game of hate. Who hates whom more?
In a game, there is a winner and a loser.
In a game of hate, no one wins and everyone loses.
Isn’t it the same with every other aspect of our society? Instead of hating others because of their differences, how about some meaningful discussions about how we can all get along and come to some concrete, acceptable solutions? Does loving one another no longer exist? How about some education and acceptance?
But that would take time and effort. People might be required to step out of the safety of their bubble….
It’s much easier to just hate.
Exercise Your Right: VOTE!
Mid Term Elections– not important? Wrong! There are many important elections and ballot initiatives this cycle, happening all over the country.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014 is an important day. Many communities have early voting for those that find it difficult to make it to the polls on the 4th. Locally, early voting is possible at multiple locations, seven days a week.
We’re all pretty tired of the constant negative campaign commercials. But it’s almost over!
No matter what side of the aisle you support, please make sure your voice is heard and VOTE!
Whatever you do, don’t accept the lame attack ads as the truth. Attack ads spin facts and take quotes out of context.
Take just a few moments and educate yourself before you head to your polling place.
Don’t vote based on fear…. vote based on fact!
It’s Beginning To Look A lot Like….
No, I’m not going to say the big “C” word, although it is coming quick. And, no, I haven’t started decorating the house either.
It’s beginning to look a lot like… Here’s your chance to fill in the blanks!
I am participating in National November Writing Month and I’m hoping I can get at least 30 people to help! Be my muse!
I’m actually participating on two levels this year. I’ll be attempting to write a blog post every day for the month of November and writing a complete novel in a month.
Pretty crazy, huh?
What I Need
I’m looking for at least 30 people (30 days in November) to act as my muse and contribute a person, place and a thing that I will have to incorporate in my story as it develops. You can contribute either by leaving your suggestions here in the comment section, or on Facebook in the comment section linking to this post.
Person– This could be a first name or full fictional name. Help me name my characters!
Place– This is pretty open, be creative. Avoid countries. Fictional businesses, towns, rooms, settings, etc.
Thing– Could be an item, emotion or an action (i.e.- a saw, insanity or kidnapping). No Brand names of items please.
I’ll use everything that is submitted, some way, some how in the story. This will be a work of fiction but not fantasy or Sci Fi so avoid suggestions that might only work in those genres.
I’ll also accept suggestions of topics for future blog posts.
What It Is
National Writing Month was created as a way to challenge writers to complete a project, to network, and to publicize their work.
In a nutshell, the goal is to write every day for the whole month of November.
In the novel challenge, you should have a complete novel by the end of the month; and for the blog challenge, you should have published 30 new blog posts.
If you are interested in participating (writing) yourself, you can find out more at NaNoWriMo for writing a novel; and NaBloPoMo for the blogging challenge. It’s free to sign up and there are plenty of resources to get the creative juices flowing.
Watch It Grow
1) My Blog: Watch for new blog posts each day during the month of November. I’ll write about a wide variety of topics, maybe post photos, and share some of my favorite things. The best way to follow my progress is to sign up to follow me using the link in the right column of this blog.
2) The Novel: I’m totally relying on you to steer the direction of my novel. I haven’t decided if I’m going to post updates daily through my blog– but in the end, I’ll be sharing my finished product that you can help me create. It will not be SCI-FI or Fantasy, I’m just not familiar enough with those genres. I’m going to start with general fiction and see where it goes… could be a mystery or even a romance. Maybe both. We’ll have to wait and see how you inspire me!
Priority for inclusion will go to people that submit to me by November 1st. Let’s get started!
Belle: Introducing Our New Addition
Friday, September 12th, we adopted a beautiful, eight week old, female AKC Boxer, we named Belle, into our family. Our first vet visit went extremely well and our 12.2 pound baby girl was fit as a fiddle. In three weeks she was already up to 17 pounds.
A typical Cash & Belle snuggle moment.
After a lot of thought and research, we finally felt it was time to find Cash a new companion… A decision we’ll never regret. Belle has lit a new fire in Cash as he finds his second puppyhood. It’s pretty amazing to watch the two of them together. With Cash at 11 1/2 years old, we weren’t sure how he’d adapt. For the most part, it’s been the best thing we could have done for him. We make sure he gets his share of attention and slowly introduce changes but for the most part we are keeping his routine the same as it’s been. The most notable, positive change is that he sleeps a whole lot less and Belle makes sure he’s getting a lot more exercise.
Now, it’s been a little over a month of joy and challenges getting used to our newest family member. Crate training and potty training are both going well. She responds to her name, fetches, is starting to sit for treats and loves to explore the yard. If we could only curb her fondness for pulling down all the pillows from the furniture, we’d be set.
Belle loves her big brother, Cash and is trying desperately to make friends with Collins (our cat) but that’s taking more time. Collins is suddenly more needy and has no trouble expressing his jealousy and annoyance if he’s not getting all the attention he thinks he deserves.
I’ve been so busy with Belle, it’s taken me this long to finally get a moment to post these pictures of her. I try to keep my camera close because she’s growing so fast. Here’s a selection of pictures from our first meeting to the present.
My first meeting with Belle.
Cash and Belle’s first meeting.
Nap Time.
A budding friendship.
Belle, AKC female Boxer at 8 weeks.
Who could resist that face?
Someone To Watch Over Me. Cash & Belle.
Just a little stair crazy.
Belle
Looking for her brother.
Belle the Explorer.
Cash & Belle: Best Friends.
Remembering Robin
Robin Williams was my friend.
No, I never met him in person, never shared a selfie, a drink or a conversation with him…albeit a one-sided friendship… but I did grow up with him.
So forgive my familiarity by referring to him by his first name– I mean no disrespect. I just think he would have liked that.
I’ve never been a big fan-type or trend follower. Somehow though, as a teen growing up in Central Florida, I owned and probably, too frequently, wore a Mork Nanu Nanu t-shirt and held up my pants with button-clad, rainbow suspenders.
I never missed an episode of Mork and Mindy and seldom missed a chance to see or hear one of Robin’s stand up routines– no matter how many times I’d seen it before. I was completely mesmerized by his energy and creativity.
Robin came into my life at a time when I needed to know it was okay to express my imagination; to be a little bit crazy and weird– to be myself.
When I first heard the news of his passing, the first images in my head weren’t of specific roles or characters he’d played– it was his eyes.
The saying, the eyes are the window to soul, was never more aptly demonstrated than it was with Robin. His eyes always told the whole story.
When I see his eyes, I see a gentle genius of a man whose heart was bigger than the combined brilliance of all the roles he’s played, rolled into one.
I remember seeing Hook for the first time. Reluctantly at first, I was quickly drawn in and lost in the fantasy, caught up in the magic and incredibly moved and invigorated by Robin’s spirit.
That’s just who Robin was. He wasn’t just a friend to some, he was (and is) a friend to us all. Whether you prefer to remember him as Mork or John Keating, Armand or Mrs. Doubtfire– or simple as Robin McLaurin Williams, the man… His spirit lives on.
When Robin made The Birdcage in 1996, it was still considered a career-risk for an actor to take on a gay role. Playing a gay man in a loving relationship, made him more than my friend– it made him my hero. He took on the role fearlessly and passionately– the way he lived his life.
This is how I will always remember him.
Learning Patience
One of the hardest things in life is waiting.
As children it seemed like we had to wait for absolutely everything– from birthdays, Christmas, vacation… even sometimes just to go outside. We counted down the weeks, days or minutes until that magical moment finally arrived. Of course, we drove everyone nuts in the process.
When we don’t learn patience as children, it’s even harder to practice in our adult lives.
Continuing from my post yesterday about our house, there is a lot to learn about patience here. First, it’s really a good rule of thumb to live in a home for a while before you make any major decisions. Rush a project and you may not end up with what you really need in the long run. Renovation takes time. Time requires patience.
To be perfectly honest, it probably took me ten years here before I didn’t feel the desperate need to spend every possible free minute working on the yard and the house. It became my excuse for everything. In the meantime, the rest of life gets ignored, friends are put on hold and the obsession gets out of control. Sooner or later you learn that it doesn’t all have to be done now. Projects will wait. They’ll always be there when you come back to them.
Looking down on part of the figure eight, 2005.
We have a figure eight sidewalk on the east side of our house that the first time we saw it, screamed to be planted as a formal garden. Some random tulips and extremely invasive Trumpet Vine was all that was really growing there; and to one side, old overgrown shrubs. I envisioned what I wanted to do there early on but had to wait until I knew I had time to complete the project. I think I may have even started to transplant some of the old shrubs, previously, but I didn’t get too far.
Prepping to plant, 2006.
Finally in 2006, I was determined to get the job done. I prepped the area and shopped for plants, ultimately deciding to do the sculpted hedge out of Boxwoods. I found a single, good-sized plant costs $35-50 each, a medium size was around $25 but I settled for the young smaller plants for about $5 each. I needed 75 to 100!
I’d just have to be patient and wait for them to grow.
Part of the broken branches from the Ginko tree on top of the figure eight, 2006.
I got the plants and spent a lot of time doing the final prep of the area.
No sooner than I started planting, we had a massive wind and hail storm that among other things, brought down nearly a quarter of the branches from our 100 year old Ginkgo tree.
Where did the largest branch fall? Right on the figure eight! The storm was so bad, many neighboring houses and businesses had to have new roofs and many area trees were down.
I couldn’t believe it!
Not only did this set me back another week, now we were afraid we might loose our enormous Ginkgo tree that is as tall as our house and shades much of the side yard.
Happily, after careful, professional pruning and clean up, it survived. I went on with my project and managed to get it planted before Fall.
Figure eight, one year after planting. (2007)
Every Spring since then, I’ve hoped it would finally be the year that everything would finally have grown enough to fulfill my original vision. Over time, some plants died and were replaced, lots and lots of weeding has gone on and I’ve continued to add and subtract plants that surround the figure eight trying to reach my original goal. The Boxwoods were so small when I planted them, it was a few years before I could do any real pruning and shaping at all.
It’s required a lot patience–eight years of waiting, to be exact– but finally I have the basic look I had hoped to achieve when I first started.
Was it worth it? Absolutely! I was pretty patient with it too. Anxious, maybe– but pretty patient. Once it was planted I knew it was mostly out of my hands and I had no choice but to wait. Plus, watching it grow and slowly sculpting it has given me a sense of achievement I’m not sure I would have had if we had spent a fortune buy full grown shrubs and not had to wait as long.
The figure eight at 321 Division Street, 2014.
I use this as an example of patience because today, as humans, we are so programmed to want everything now. No one is willing to wait for the right job, partner or situation to come into our lives and know it is right. In the process, lots of quick, bad decisions are made, lots of money is wasted and relationships, without the test of time, fail to meet our original expectations. Some people never learn and repeat the process over and over again their entire lives.
All any of us really need is a little patience.
How Do You Measure 525600 Minutes? 