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Why I Grocery Shop At 3 AM: A Nightmare
It’s 3:00 AM, no traffic and I pull into the empty parking lot. I park up front in the first spot close to the door. I approach the door that glides open, revealing a clean, quiet shopping metropolis just waiting for me. I nod, or say Good Morning, to the familiar faces of employees, busily stocking shelves and taking inventory as I move quickly through aisle after uncrowded aisle gathering the items on my list. Something in the produce department not on the shelf? No problem. There’s someone there, willing to get it for me from the back. The only other shopper in the store– and I swear, he’s there every time I go at this hour– is an older gentleman using one of those electric mobility scooters. I go to self check out, scan my items as a friendly cashier rushes over to assist and engage in a little small talk as they help bag my items. Then I’m done. This is the only way to shop!
I do most of my shopping at a local super store chain (grocery and department store combined) in the early morning hours and I love it! It’s a quiet, quick and efficient use of my time. I can do a full grocery shop and browser through the other departments (and always the pet aisles) in about an hour.
This particular chain has a great phone app that allows me to clip manufacturer coupons, store coupons and incentives AND form a shopping list for a quick and easy shopping experience. Store coupons (or sales) and manufacturer coupons are stackable for additional savings. If for some reason the coupon or discount doesn’t come up at the register, there’s always someone there to quickly correct it, no questions asked.
My receipt shows me my total combined savings over regular retail prices– and so far this year, I’ve saved over $2,800! I love this place.
That is, I love this place at 3:00 AM.
Yesterday, I went at 11:30 AM. What was I thinking? The store was crowded with typical shoppers that have no concern or awareness of anyone but themselves. Kids are screaming, wandering shoppers leave their carts blocking aisles; and I have to wait for the two retired gentlemen to wake up from their conversation about how bad the Bears are this year and move out of the way.
Oh yeah, the reason I had to go at this normal hour was two fold: There were two, one day-only coupons I wanted to use; and I needed to have a quick adjustment done on my eye glasses at the little in-house vision center. (If only they were open at 3 AM!)
I got my glasses fixed at the front of the store and headed into the chaos. Swerving, dodging and taking detours, I navigated my way around the myriad of confused shoppers blocking my path.
The special coupons I had were for 40% off a men’s outerwear and an accessory item. I wanted to get Michael a new heavy duty coat for work and for shoveling snow at home. I found a good Dickies brand coat under a sign that said Men’s Outerwear and 20% off. Perfect. The discounts would stack and I would get the $80 coat for about $38. I also picked up a pair of gloves, already 30% off, plus the extra 40% off.
Avoiding the crowded aisles, I headed to the back perimeter aisle to head over to the pet department. As I was passing through, I found some pet toys on final clearance, 90% off. As I was picking out a few, I happened to glance to my right. In the distance, coming towards me down the aisle was my 3 AM friend on his scooter. )Why was he here now?) Seconds after I spotted him, a woman on her cell phone crashed her cart into the side of his scooter. He wasn’t hurt but I’d bet he was a sailor in his youth, if you get my drift.
I was nearly done with my shopping and headed to pick up my fridge and freezer items, not yet too annoyed by all the people– I reach the dairy section to find: No whole milk. How does a store that size have no whole milk? They barely had any 2% milk, either but I refuse to buy that anyway. (Sugar is added to 2% milk to replace the fat, actually making it less healthy for you!)
So then, I move through the meat section, which apparently, at noon is a social gathering spot; reach the produce section to find the bagged, chopped salad shelves empty too. This really wasn’t going well.
I headed toward the registers to check out and in the center aisle where they display sale merchandise, I found the large jars of peanut butter on sale for $1.49 if you bought eight. Well, eight is a lot but it has a long shelf life; and we go through a lot of it with the dogs. Sell by date was October 2016, so in the cart it went. Shopping done– just had to pay.
I’m not sure if any of this is annoying or amusing enough for anyone to continue reading–BUT– it took me 45 minutes just to check out!
45 minutes to check out in an empty, self-scan checkout lane!
Why?
Well since you asked….
The peanut butter was really on sale for $4.99 not $1.49. I had to go get the sign to show them their mistake… They gave it to me for the lower price… but it took almost 15 minutes just to change the price in the computer, for me to get it at the posted price. Then the register wouldn’t give me the extra 40% off on the coat because it was work wear not just outerwear that they claim was excluded– but not listed on the app coupon OR the text message, I’d received. This was what got me in the store at that ungodly hour. I made them take it off my tally, I wasn’t paying that much. (The guy that had gotten in line behind me was sighing loudly and cussing under his breath at this point.) Then the gloves? Same thing. Only they couldn’t claim a reason why I wasn’t entitled to the discount, so that took even longer to figure out. The original attendant had just gone on break… and the replacement didn’t know how to do price adjustments. Suddenly, every self checkout was at a stand still because every one needed assistance. I was never more relieved to finally get out of a store in my life!
This is exactly why I try to only shop off hours or online as much as possible.
That would be the end of the story… except– stupid me, I forgot eggs. When I got home and started to make meatloaf, I discovered we were completely out of eggs. You can’t make meatloaf without them.
So— I was forced to drive to the nearby grocery– that I hate with a passion– just to get eggs. (I won’t name any names but the store’s a real gem.) And yes, it took me almost a half hour just to buy a carton of eggs.
The End.
P.S. — The meatloaf was delicious! <wink>
Just A Housewife
Let’s flashback to the old days…
She’s just a housewife,
A wife and mother.
She has the easiest job in the world.
Cooking, cleaning and playing with the children all day,
What an honorable and easy life!
I can still remember when most families survived on one income. The fathers went to work and mothers stayed at home with the children. A family was two parents, a dog and 2.5 kids.
I remember when it all started to change and women were belittled if they still chose to have a career and raise a family. They were called selfish.
I remember when families started to struggle to survive and it became more necessary for both parents to work, just to financially keep their heads above water.
I remember when there was an increase in single parent families and the mom (in most cases) or dad had to be both the bread winner and the sole parent.
I remember when the terms stay at home dad and stay at home mom came into popularity. They called these parents lucky, lazy or unmotivated.
It’s funny how public perceptions change in a matter of a few years. It’s sad how judgmental we are as a society.
Just a housewife. Think about it.
I know there are some people at there that totally know what I’m talking about. Others, probably have no comprehension.
I realized, myself, when we got our boxer puppy Belle just how difficult it must have been for my own mom to take care of the house, the shopping, and us all at the same time. With the new one in our house, the whole schedule changed. Cooking and cleaning and house projects had to revolve around Belle. Children, two or four-legged, need attention, structured activities and protection. Turn your back for a moment and anything can happen.
My Mom was a teacher when my sister and I were small. We had a babysitter whose house we went to when my Mom went to teach. When my brother was born, my Mom took a break from being a career girl and became a stay at home Mom for a few years.
As we got a little older and started helping out doing chores, my Mom returned to work full time. I never stopped to think how much help we really were to my parents by doing those simple, regular chores. I never appreciated how stressful it could be. I also never appreciated how time consuming and difficult it must have been running a house and raising three kids. So for that, I say a heartfelt, Thank You! — I get it now.
There aren’t too many housewives around anymore. Those that are, I salute you. You are the least appreciated– unpaid, full-time employees in existence.
November Writing Challenge Update #1 and Blog Milestones
I am participating in National November Writing Month and the challenge is to write every single day. National Writing Month was created as a way to challenge writers to complete a project, to network, and to publicize their work.
I’m actually participating on two levels, attempting to write a blog post every day and writing a complete novel in a month.
The Novel:
Working title: Muse Me
At the end of October, I asked for at least 30 people to help by each submitting a person, place and thing that I have to include in my novel.
So far I’ve written 16,929 words!
Since I’m writing free form and using the submitted words for inspiration, the storyline is still taking shape. Sometimes I feel like I’m on a rambling road and sometimes I find clear moments that will definitely define the structure of my finished draft. Not too much I’m ready to say right now except that it is a mystery of sorts and primarily takes place in Georgia.
The Blog Challenge
Nine days into November and I’ve written a new post every day. Right on Track! The more I write, the more the ideas keep flowing. Some posts take several days to write with research and finding my particular angle on the topic. I usually have several posts going at once.
For more information about National November Writing Month, see NaNoWriMo for writing a novel; and NaBloPoMo for the blogging challenge.
Blog Milestones
Friday I hit a milestone for this blog hitting over 15,000 views!
My blog has been viewed in 122 countries around the world!
I’m nearing my 150th blog post and I’m currently in a record run (for me) with new blog posts for 12 consecutive days.
I hope you enjoy what you find here. Comments are always welcome and encouraging!
Let me know what you think!
Dreaming of the Open Gate
The Dream
It’s a typical day. Seems pretty ordinary. I’m outside and walk around the corner of the house to see our front gate standing wide open. A momentary panic suddenly washes over me and I rush into action. Where are the dogs? Did they get out? Where they stolen? Who left the gate open and why? Must find the dogs!
Then I usually wake up.
Sometimes, I’ve been so startled, I sit up abruptly in bed. I check and the babies are sleeping soundly. I usually can’t go back to sleep and I get up. Not so much because the dream rattled me but more just because I’m fully awake.
The dream has many variations. Usually it’s the front gate but some times it’s the back one. The seasons in my dream may be different but not necessarily the current one. Sometimes its even the house door standing open and I’m worried the cat got out. (Collins is an indoor cat but has gotten out on several occasions.)
We all have reoccurring dreams that haunt us, don’t we?
Does it mean what seems most obvious?
Yes, I can be overprotective of my kids. Yes, sometimes we find our gate is standing open. I don’t have the dream regularly, months can go by sometimes. I’ve had variations of this dream for at least ten years, when Cash and Roxie were just puppies.
The dream always stops with me discovering the gate, thinking I’ve got to close it and wanting to check on the babies. They never actually get out in the dream and I never actually close it in the dream.
I had this dream Friday when I was napping with the babies. That morning, the front gate was standing wide open in real life. This time in the dream though, it was the back gate– it wasn’t just open, it was like someone had driven through it destroying it completely. A new variation.
So I know what triggered the dream– but does it mean something deeper?
I researched online, more than a dozen dream interpretation sites; all saying pretty much the same thing. I couldn’t find anything specific (dogs getting out, etc.) beyond focusing on open gates in dreams.
In dreams, an open gate is interpreted to represent a transition, a change, or a new chapter. It could be a change in awareness or level of maturity; a passage from one phase of life, or from one situation to another. A closed gate symbolizes ones inability to overcome or not ready to move on. Gates represent obstacles in life. If you walk through then you are moving on, if you close it or it is closed, you aren’t ready or maybe you are afraid you aren’t prepared for what’s to come.
To relate this to my life– when I first had this dream, I was working in a job that while rewarding in many ways; was limiting my professional growth and creativity. Now, as I continue my search for the right job, I know that I don’t want to be in the same situation again. Interviews have not yielded a job offer. I’ve toyed with ideas of some options but nothing has presented itself as the right thing yet.
So if I was to interpret the crashed gate, I’d have to say it might mean there’s no turning back. I’ve evolved beyond the past and I’m ready for something bigger.
But what exactly?
It’s something to ponder, for sure.
Or, maybe it’s just what it is at face value:
A Dad’s fear, protecting his furry children.
Being Human: A Life Without _____ Is A Life Not Lived
It’s hard to believe it’s getting close to a year and a half since I parted ways with my job.
It’s been quite a roller coaster. I’ve had a lot of changes to get used to, a lot of decisions to make; and most of all, I’ve had to get reacquainted with parts of me I’d forgotten, locked up or ignored.
There have been a lot of feelings going on in my head and it’s not always easy.
It’s called being human.
I’m about as human as they come. I could never be accused of being a robot. I tend to wear my passion for whatever I’m doing, on my sleeve; and as a result, I may come off a little intense and dramatic.
Out in the real world it is expected that you behave with a certain amount of coldness. Sometimes you’ll hear it referred to as: professionalism and decorum. This requires you to bottle things up and not be completely honest. That lack of honesty, my friends, is one of the biggest failures in our society’s increasing isolation. Real communication is becoming obsolete.
Time and time again, I have watched people sit completely stone-faced and not express themselves– when I know they have definite opinions or feelings on the matter. It’s really hard to watch. How do you interact with that? I know, I’ve tried it– how should I say it… in the name of civility… and I usually fail miserably.
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had to face is that the feelings and responses to the things around us aren’t always going to be considered appropriate. We have to be okay with that. I think of all the people that medicate just to avoid feeling and I never want to be in that place.
We can try to ignore and avoid our feelings… even feel guilty about them but then how much are we really living? How much are we really experiencing life? It’s not always necessary to express all our feelings to other people but we at least need to acknowledge them ourselves. Appropriate or not, our feelings are real— if only to us. The people with whom we engage have those feelings too. Everyone deals with things differently… the important thing is that they are dealt with and not ignored.
It’s far too easy to become numb and go through the motions of living.
It can happen for a number of reasons:
- We’re too busy, obsessed or focused on one thing; ignoring, or refusing to deal with everything else,
- Afraid to become emotionally involved; of being used or hurt,
- Lack of self confidence and feelings of inadequacy; fear of being judged,
- Expectations of professional demeanor, void of expression; always holding your cards close,
- Purely for self preservation; protecting your self, job, relationships or image,
When we allow ourselves to fall into any of these patterns, we start living a life without. We alienate ourselves and our selves. We may find the temporary protection we need to get through any given situation but if this becomes the way we deal with every day life, something is missing. We can become lost.
Being human is thinking, feeling and expressing through our experiences.
Life is joy, celebration and happiness— anger, heartbreak and tears. It’s connecting and sharing those feelings with others that make us human.
It’s important to feel things.
It’s important to express things.
It’s most important that we not lose who we are in the daily routine of survival.
Take away these human traits and what do you have left?
A big blank. A life without.
Suicide: Grappling With the Unimaginable
Four years ago the world lost a beautiful, creative, brilliant young girl who touched and forever changed my life.
Her senior year in high school, as the student assistant director, she’d been an important driving force behind our spring musical’s success and such an incredible help to me. She set a new standard for how effective, given the opportunity, student leadership at our school could be.
I saw her only twice after she graduated. We kept in touch online and she seemed to be doing well in college but then suddenly she was gone.
The death of Robin Williams brought back all the pain and grief I experienced back then.
I’ve felt the need to write about this for quite some time; particularly in the past week. (Her birthday.) Knowing the right words to say is another story.
Grappling with the unimaginable.
As a writer, I want to tell stories to share with readers about topics and events that have had an impact on my life. As a writer, it’s extremely difficult not to romanticize, in an effort to engage an audience.
I don’t want to romanticize this topic.
The fact is, suicide is not a solution. All it does is magnifies the pain and sadness, transferring it on to other people.
In 2011, someone in the United States died by suicide every 13 minutes.
It was the 10th leading cause of death with 39,518 reported suicides in the U.S. According to the World Heath Organization, there are over 800,000 deaths by suicide, globally, each year.
i found a list published by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention that they have asked all media and writers on the topic to share:
DO:
- DO include links to treatment services, warning signs, and suicide hotline (1-800-273-TALK (8255).
- DO include stories of hope.
- DO monitor comment sections to identify hurtful statements, or people expressing suicidal thoughts.
- DO contact an expert on suicide to get the facts.
- DO report suicide as a health issue.
AVOID:
- AVOID showing videos or photos of the method or location used.
- AVOID framing suicide in terms of success: do not say committed suicide; do not say suicide attempts are successful or failed. Instead say died by suicide.
- AVOID romanticizing the death.
- AVOID describing suicide rates as skyrocketing, or as an epidemic, or other strong terms.
- AVOID publishing text from a suicide note.
- AVOID quoting police or first responders.
- AVOID describing a suicide as inexplicable or without warning.
I realized after reading this list, that telling my story really wouldn’t really help anyone. If anything, I could risk trivializing or making an antidote out of a tragic event.
For the survivors of suicide, the long lasting effects can leave them immobilized. Grief, depression, helplessness, anger and guilt are often experienced and difficult to overcome.
Do you know what I really hate? I hate the stigma attached to the following terms: mental illness, mental disorder and mental health.
There is a common accepted belief that you are either normal or mentally ill. I find this extremely offense and inaccurate.
What is normal? In all of humanity, no two people are, or have ever been, exactly alike. So how can we define anyone society as normal?
Not only do we all look, think and feel differently; we also experience different sets of circumstances and react to them differently.
Normal tends to insinuate that there are people that are superior and mentally more healthy than others. It creates a stigma against people that live within any extremes. The need to define or classify us all leads some people to feel marked, separate and extremely alone.
Grappling with suicide: trying to understand or accept, is a long. difficult journey. Searching for answers that don’t exist is incomprehensible.
Here is a list of resources that might be helpful for understanding and coping with suicide and depression:
Give Me A Freak
We may soon lose the acceptable use of the word freak from our vocabulary, if the trending concern over its renewed popularity continues to grow.
As pop culture sees entertainment revisiting the bygone, sideshow days; some people are starting to worry that the use of the word will return as a popular hate slur. On television, American Horror Story: Freak Show, and on Broadway, the revival of the musical, Side Show, explore a long forgotten form of entertainment: the exploitation of people with physical deformities.
Is there really something to be concerned about here? Both of the above mentioned stories, while enticing with the oddities, move beyond, to explore the desires for ‘normal’ human feeling and existence. The message seems to be that the freaks are just like us. In some way, shape or form, we are all freaks.
From the musical TABOO
Give me a freak
Any day of the week
I’m comfortable with those you call demented
Give me a freak
Not someone meek
With space between their ears that can be rented
I like noise
Aggressive boys
Hookers, thieves and queers and those confused
If you knew
What I knew
You’d be a freak too!Music & Lyrics by Boy George
Over time we’ve had freaky Fridays, we’ve freaked out and we’ve gotten our freak on. For a time, there was a freak movement in the club scene. If we lose the word, is there a better one to replace it?
Freak can mean a genetic abnormality, deformity, to get stressed out and upset, to be weird, to be different from the social norms, etc. The word as it is most used today is slang. Words can be used innocently for descriptive purposes or to spew hate in the form of negative stereotypes or threatening in nature.
Why are we allowing the use of a word to build fear instead of conquering it? Gays reclaimed the word ‘queer’ in the 90’s and though it is still used as a hateful slur, it has lost much of its power.
A word is just a word until you put intention, inflection and the way it is received into play.
To borrow from the NRA:
Words don’t hurt people, People hurt people.
I don’t believe banning words or making them social unacceptable is going to solve the real problem.
Public Education Is ‘Dumbing Down’ America
We don’t need to know how to spell, calculate simple math equations, write in cursive or expand our vocabulary, do we? We have computers. If education in America continues on its current track, students will be reduced to nothing more than computer operators with limited thinking skills and the inability to function without them. The evolution of the brain and our abilities to think and communicate are being thwarted by a system that seeks to create a society with restricted measurable skills, in affect, dumbing down individual potential.
Powerful leaders through history have known that if you can control how and what people think, you can control the masses. Programs like No Child Left Behind and now, Common Core strive to produce group results not successful individuals.
Why do you think there is such a great importance on standardized testing? The public is led to believe that it is to provide concrete proof of learning (or lack thereof) and guide educators to improve student performance. Face the fact: Testing only measures a very limited, specific result. It does not measure thinking skills, creative problem-solving and is not an honest indicator of a learning disability or poor educational environment.
The goal of our current public education system is to limit students’ abilities to be creative in both their thinking and problem-solving skills, restricting their knowledge base and reducing their abilities to explore their unique individuality.
Don’t blame the teachers. Their hands have been tied for years. Look to the leadership. Ultimately, the road map is being sent down from the state and federal levels.
But, that’s just the way I see it.
Moon Songs
Happy Sunday! The clocks have been turned back, most of the leaves have fallen from the trees and the moon rules with prominence in the late fall sky.
Throughout history, much has been written about the moon in relation to mystery and romance. It’s fascination never seems to leave us.
I did a search of my music library and 208 recordings of “moon songs” came up. Many are recordings of the same songs by different artists.
Here are five of my most favorite moon songs:
Talking To The Moon – Written by Bruno Mars, Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine, Albert Winkler & Jeff Bhasker and Performed by Bruno Mars. Originally recorded for the album, Doo-Wops & Hooligans.
Moon River by Henry Mancini with lyrics written by Johnny Mercer. It received the 1961 Academy Award for Best Original Song, from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. There have been many wonderful recordings of this classic. Performed here by Andy WIlliams.
Moonfall by Rupert Holmes from the Tony Award winning, Broadway musical The Mystery of Edwin Drood sung by Betsy Wolfe in the 2013 Broadway Revival.
Fly Me To The Moon by Bart Howard Recorded by many artists, sung here by Nat King Cole.
Moon Over Bourbon Street Written and Performed by Sting. Originally from the album, The Dream of the Blue Turtles. Inspired by the Anne Rice novel, Interview With The Vampire. Shown here, recorded Live in Berlin 2010.
Do you have a favorite you want to share? Let me know!
Have a great week!
Blind Hate
I’ll never understand what causes people to become so enraged and be so hateful.
Believe it or not, everyone was not born to hate and everyone was not born a hateable stereotype.
Where does hate come from? Is it jealousy? Partiality? Being disrespected? Envy? Ignorance? Or is hate purely based in fear?
At what point did hate become the acceptable alternative to loving all mankind?
Hate is an extreme, passionate emotion, just like love. Are we strictly taught to hate? In the process, do many people even bother to think about it logically and try to discover the origin of it in their own lives?
All hate doesn’t evolve into violence. All hate does affect behavior and the treatment of others. Sometimes the vehemently caustic words so easily expressed by some, are more damaging than actual physical violence enacted by others.
We often see hate expressed violently in correlation to religion, race, politics and class. At what point did these groups become nothing more than targeted and often, victimized stereotypes? Granted, it’s much easier to hate a group than it is to hate an individual. It certainly saves time. If someone really wants to live in an isolated bubble then hating, by definition is a simple solution. Why waste time getting to know people as individuals?
Hate+ Isolation= An Ignorant, Fear-Filled Life
In social media, you see so many people expressing feelings, judging others and many times probably not even realizing, that what they are doing is hurtful. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. People really need to realize that the way they express their opinions can come across as hateful and hurtful to others; even if it is unintentional. I completely defend everyone’s right to freedom of speech and practice it myself, frequently. But, I believe there is more danger in the words of those– that unknowingly, express hatred towards others than those that side with, and identify with openly defined hate groups.
Politics is one of the most visible arenas for acceptable expressions of hate. Parties disagree. We all understand that. Threats and total disregard for another viewpoint without any credible validation? Unacceptable.
It’s an election year and we have candidates perpetuating hate on both sides. In effect, what I hear from politicians is quite often the exact same accusations and promises, twisted to their benefit, according to what they think the public wants to hear. Or, at least enough people to get them elected.
Politicians are hypocrites and thrive on contradiction. Politics has become a game of hate. Who hates whom more?
In a game, there is a winner and a loser.
In a game of hate, no one wins and everyone loses.
Isn’t it the same with every other aspect of our society? Instead of hating others because of their differences, how about some meaningful discussions about how we can all get along and come to some concrete, acceptable solutions? Does loving one another no longer exist? How about some education and acceptance?
But that would take time and effort. People might be required to step out of the safety of their bubble….
It’s much easier to just hate.
How Do You Measure 525600 Minutes? 