NetChallenge
November Writing Challenge Update #1 and Blog Milestones
I am participating in National November Writing Month and the challenge is to write every single day. National Writing Month was created as a way to challenge writers to complete a project, to network, and to publicize their work.
I’m actually participating on two levels, attempting to write a blog post every day and writing a complete novel in a month.
The Novel:
Working title: Muse Me
At the end of October, I asked for at least 30 people to help by each submitting a person, place and thing that I have to include in my novel.
So far I’ve written 16,929 words!
Since I’m writing free form and using the submitted words for inspiration, the storyline is still taking shape. Sometimes I feel like I’m on a rambling road and sometimes I find clear moments that will definitely define the structure of my finished draft. Not too much I’m ready to say right now except that it is a mystery of sorts and primarily takes place in Georgia.
The Blog Challenge
Nine days into November and I’ve written a new post every day. Right on Track! The more I write, the more the ideas keep flowing. Some posts take several days to write with research and finding my particular angle on the topic. I usually have several posts going at once.
For more information about National November Writing Month, see NaNoWriMo for writing a novel; and NaBloPoMo for the blogging challenge.
Blog Milestones
Friday I hit a milestone for this blog hitting over 15,000 views!
My blog has been viewed in 122 countries around the world!
I’m nearing my 150th blog post and I’m currently in a record run (for me) with new blog posts for 12 consecutive days.
I hope you enjoy what you find here. Comments are always welcome and encouraging!
Let me know what you think!
Dreaming of the Open Gate
The Dream
It’s a typical day. Seems pretty ordinary. I’m outside and walk around the corner of the house to see our front gate standing wide open. A momentary panic suddenly washes over me and I rush into action. Where are the dogs? Did they get out? Where they stolen? Who left the gate open and why? Must find the dogs!
Then I usually wake up.
Sometimes, I’ve been so startled, I sit up abruptly in bed. I check and the babies are sleeping soundly. I usually can’t go back to sleep and I get up. Not so much because the dream rattled me but more just because I’m fully awake.
The dream has many variations. Usually it’s the front gate but some times it’s the back one. The seasons in my dream may be different but not necessarily the current one. Sometimes its even the house door standing open and I’m worried the cat got out. (Collins is an indoor cat but has gotten out on several occasions.)
We all have reoccurring dreams that haunt us, don’t we?
Does it mean what seems most obvious?
Yes, I can be overprotective of my kids. Yes, sometimes we find our gate is standing open. I don’t have the dream regularly, months can go by sometimes. I’ve had variations of this dream for at least ten years, when Cash and Roxie were just puppies.
The dream always stops with me discovering the gate, thinking I’ve got to close it and wanting to check on the babies. They never actually get out in the dream and I never actually close it in the dream.
I had this dream Friday when I was napping with the babies. That morning, the front gate was standing wide open in real life. This time in the dream though, it was the back gate– it wasn’t just open, it was like someone had driven through it destroying it completely. A new variation.
So I know what triggered the dream– but does it mean something deeper?
I researched online, more than a dozen dream interpretation sites; all saying pretty much the same thing. I couldn’t find anything specific (dogs getting out, etc.) beyond focusing on open gates in dreams.
In dreams, an open gate is interpreted to represent a transition, a change, or a new chapter. It could be a change in awareness or level of maturity; a passage from one phase of life, or from one situation to another. A closed gate symbolizes ones inability to overcome or not ready to move on. Gates represent obstacles in life. If you walk through then you are moving on, if you close it or it is closed, you aren’t ready or maybe you are afraid you aren’t prepared for what’s to come.
To relate this to my life– when I first had this dream, I was working in a job that while rewarding in many ways; was limiting my professional growth and creativity. Now, as I continue my search for the right job, I know that I don’t want to be in the same situation again. Interviews have not yielded a job offer. I’ve toyed with ideas of some options but nothing has presented itself as the right thing yet.
So if I was to interpret the crashed gate, I’d have to say it might mean there’s no turning back. I’ve evolved beyond the past and I’m ready for something bigger.
But what exactly?
It’s something to ponder, for sure.
Or, maybe it’s just what it is at face value:
A Dad’s fear, protecting his furry children.
Being Human: A Life Without _____ Is A Life Not Lived
It’s hard to believe it’s getting close to a year and a half since I parted ways with my job.
It’s been quite a roller coaster. I’ve had a lot of changes to get used to, a lot of decisions to make; and most of all, I’ve had to get reacquainted with parts of me I’d forgotten, locked up or ignored.
There have been a lot of feelings going on in my head and it’s not always easy.
It’s called being human.
I’m about as human as they come. I could never be accused of being a robot. I tend to wear my passion for whatever I’m doing, on my sleeve; and as a result, I may come off a little intense and dramatic.
Out in the real world it is expected that you behave with a certain amount of coldness. Sometimes you’ll hear it referred to as: professionalism and decorum. This requires you to bottle things up and not be completely honest. That lack of honesty, my friends, is one of the biggest failures in our society’s increasing isolation. Real communication is becoming obsolete.
Time and time again, I have watched people sit completely stone-faced and not express themselves– when I know they have definite opinions or feelings on the matter. It’s really hard to watch. How do you interact with that? I know, I’ve tried it– how should I say it… in the name of civility… and I usually fail miserably.
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had to face is that the feelings and responses to the things around us aren’t always going to be considered appropriate. We have to be okay with that. I think of all the people that medicate just to avoid feeling and I never want to be in that place.
We can try to ignore and avoid our feelings… even feel guilty about them but then how much are we really living? How much are we really experiencing life? It’s not always necessary to express all our feelings to other people but we at least need to acknowledge them ourselves. Appropriate or not, our feelings are real— if only to us. The people with whom we engage have those feelings too. Everyone deals with things differently… the important thing is that they are dealt with and not ignored.
It’s far too easy to become numb and go through the motions of living.
It can happen for a number of reasons:
- We’re too busy, obsessed or focused on one thing; ignoring, or refusing to deal with everything else,
- Afraid to become emotionally involved; of being used or hurt,
- Lack of self confidence and feelings of inadequacy; fear of being judged,
- Expectations of professional demeanor, void of expression; always holding your cards close,
- Purely for self preservation; protecting your self, job, relationships or image,
When we allow ourselves to fall into any of these patterns, we start living a life without. We alienate ourselves and our selves. We may find the temporary protection we need to get through any given situation but if this becomes the way we deal with every day life, something is missing. We can become lost.
Being human is thinking, feeling and expressing through our experiences.
Life is joy, celebration and happiness— anger, heartbreak and tears. It’s connecting and sharing those feelings with others that make us human.
It’s important to feel things.
It’s important to express things.
It’s most important that we not lose who we are in the daily routine of survival.
Take away these human traits and what do you have left?
A big blank. A life without.
Suicide: Grappling With the Unimaginable
Four years ago the world lost a beautiful, creative, brilliant young girl who touched and forever changed my life.
Her senior year in high school, as the student assistant director, she’d been an important driving force behind our spring musical’s success and such an incredible help to me. She set a new standard for how effective, given the opportunity, student leadership at our school could be.
I saw her only twice after she graduated. We kept in touch online and she seemed to be doing well in college but then suddenly she was gone.
The death of Robin Williams brought back all the pain and grief I experienced back then.
I’ve felt the need to write about this for quite some time; particularly in the past week. (Her birthday.) Knowing the right words to say is another story.
Grappling with the unimaginable.
As a writer, I want to tell stories to share with readers about topics and events that have had an impact on my life. As a writer, it’s extremely difficult not to romanticize, in an effort to engage an audience.
I don’t want to romanticize this topic.
The fact is, suicide is not a solution. All it does is magnifies the pain and sadness, transferring it on to other people.
In 2011, someone in the United States died by suicide every 13 minutes.
It was the 10th leading cause of death with 39,518 reported suicides in the U.S. According to the World Heath Organization, there are over 800,000 deaths by suicide, globally, each year.
i found a list published by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention that they have asked all media and writers on the topic to share:
DO:
- DO include links to treatment services, warning signs, and suicide hotline (1-800-273-TALK (8255).
- DO include stories of hope.
- DO monitor comment sections to identify hurtful statements, or people expressing suicidal thoughts.
- DO contact an expert on suicide to get the facts.
- DO report suicide as a health issue.
AVOID:
- AVOID showing videos or photos of the method or location used.
- AVOID framing suicide in terms of success: do not say committed suicide; do not say suicide attempts are successful or failed. Instead say died by suicide.
- AVOID romanticizing the death.
- AVOID describing suicide rates as skyrocketing, or as an epidemic, or other strong terms.
- AVOID publishing text from a suicide note.
- AVOID quoting police or first responders.
- AVOID describing a suicide as inexplicable or without warning.
I realized after reading this list, that telling my story really wouldn’t really help anyone. If anything, I could risk trivializing or making an antidote out of a tragic event.
For the survivors of suicide, the long lasting effects can leave them immobilized. Grief, depression, helplessness, anger and guilt are often experienced and difficult to overcome.
Do you know what I really hate? I hate the stigma attached to the following terms: mental illness, mental disorder and mental health.
There is a common accepted belief that you are either normal or mentally ill. I find this extremely offense and inaccurate.
What is normal? In all of humanity, no two people are, or have ever been, exactly alike. So how can we define anyone society as normal?
Not only do we all look, think and feel differently; we also experience different sets of circumstances and react to them differently.
Normal tends to insinuate that there are people that are superior and mentally more healthy than others. It creates a stigma against people that live within any extremes. The need to define or classify us all leads some people to feel marked, separate and extremely alone.
Grappling with suicide: trying to understand or accept, is a long. difficult journey. Searching for answers that don’t exist is incomprehensible.
Here is a list of resources that might be helpful for understanding and coping with suicide and depression:
Give Me A Freak
We may soon lose the acceptable use of the word freak from our vocabulary, if the trending concern over its renewed popularity continues to grow.
As pop culture sees entertainment revisiting the bygone, sideshow days; some people are starting to worry that the use of the word will return as a popular hate slur. On television, American Horror Story: Freak Show, and on Broadway, the revival of the musical, Side Show, explore a long forgotten form of entertainment: the exploitation of people with physical deformities.
Is there really something to be concerned about here? Both of the above mentioned stories, while enticing with the oddities, move beyond, to explore the desires for ‘normal’ human feeling and existence. The message seems to be that the freaks are just like us. In some way, shape or form, we are all freaks.
From the musical TABOO
Give me a freak
Any day of the week
I’m comfortable with those you call demented
Give me a freak
Not someone meek
With space between their ears that can be rented
I like noise
Aggressive boys
Hookers, thieves and queers and those confused
If you knew
What I knew
You’d be a freak too!Music & Lyrics by Boy George
Over time we’ve had freaky Fridays, we’ve freaked out and we’ve gotten our freak on. For a time, there was a freak movement in the club scene. If we lose the word, is there a better one to replace it?
Freak can mean a genetic abnormality, deformity, to get stressed out and upset, to be weird, to be different from the social norms, etc. The word as it is most used today is slang. Words can be used innocently for descriptive purposes or to spew hate in the form of negative stereotypes or threatening in nature.
Why are we allowing the use of a word to build fear instead of conquering it? Gays reclaimed the word ‘queer’ in the 90’s and though it is still used as a hateful slur, it has lost much of its power.
A word is just a word until you put intention, inflection and the way it is received into play.
To borrow from the NRA:
Words don’t hurt people, People hurt people.
I don’t believe banning words or making them social unacceptable is going to solve the real problem.
Crazy Cat Talk
I’ve spent so much time focusing on our Boxers, Cash and particularly, Belle lately; I figured Collins needed some public attention.
Collins, named after Tom Collins in Rent, is probably the friendliest cats I’ve ever known. He’s even friendly without reservation, with strangers. He will make himself scarce at parties though, usually, to reappear as it starts to wind down to check things out.
Collins
Collins is a huge talker. He will Meooooow and Grrrreooooow continuously if he wants attention. Sometimes he’ll follow me around the house talking to me, especially if I haven’t spent time with him on my lap first thing in the morning. He’ll rub up against me or whatever is nearby (the sign of marking his territory) and a few quick pets or strokes are never enough.
He greets me every morning and follows me, talking to me non-stop, while I make coffee and every night, follows me, meowing, all the way up the stairs.
Collins loves to sit on my lap and nuzzle and purr, or snuggled against my side. His purring can be quite loud at times. His desired daily routine seems to be starting and ending the day on, or next to me. The rest of the day he could be anywhere in the house. He just wants his me time.
He loves to give kisses. Cats usually kiss by nose or forehead bumping but Collins prefers to lick my lips. I know, some people will think that’s gross but my dogs do the same thing too… and I kiss them back.
We keep food out for him at all times, refilling his bowl as needed. One of Collins’ funny little traits is that he likes to have his food fluffed. That’s right, sometimes he’ll find me and talk until I follow him to his food bowl. I either shake it or stir the pieces of dry kibble up with my fingers… and he prefers it to be in a mound. As soon as I do that, he’ll stop his chatter, often only eating a piece or two and then jumping back down and he’s off on his own.
I made the mistake of letting him try people food. Well, some he he tried himself. He likes– wait, he loves whipped cream, ice cream, chicken, hamburger and melted cheese. I can’t eat any of them without Collins begging; talking and talking until he gets a taste. Oddly though, he will not eat wet or moist cat food or treats, only dry.
I’ve never heard him howl or yowl, like some cats, even when Belle is pursuing him.
I caught several programs on Animal Planet this weekend dealing with rescues and socializing animals and realized I’d never really looked into cat language or cat talk in all the years I’ve had them.
I guess I’ve always just taken their form of communication for granted.
I learned that you really have to watch their full body language to gauge how they are feeling.
What made me especially curious was how Collins and Belle interact. At first, I worried that they often look like they were fighting. (Actually, Belle taunting and teasing Collins and him defending himself.) But, after doing some research, I’ve come to the conclusion that they are mostly just playing and getting to know each other.
Belle at 8 weeks and Collins at 11 yrs old.
When Belle approaches Collins calm and gentle, Collins will poke his head forward and bump (kiss) Belle on the nose. When Belle is all wound up, Collins usually still lets her sniff, no matter what Belle’s energy level is at the moment. If Belle starts bouncing or making short lunges or boxing him, Collins will usually give her a drawn out meoooooow, a hiss or bat (box) back at her.
According to the different sites I checked out, Collins doesn’t exhibit the typical behavior of a cat in fear or annoyance. I try to watch his body language and he may exhibit one or two traits– but not multiple signs of fear or aggression.
Though Collins frequently uses his tail language to express happiness or contentment, and occasionally (with me) irritation; he seldom uses it at all to show irritation with Belle.
Same with his ears. Cats use them to show fear, aggression, pleasure and curiosity. When they feel threatened or in defense mode, cats will often flatten there ears or pull them back against their head. I’ve seen Collins do this before but not in recent memory and not with Belle.
When he’s in the mood to play, Collins loves to hide and jump out and bat at Belle. Then he usually retreats because he knows after the initial surprise, Belle will be on his tail… or sometimes his back. Several times in the past week, Belle will stalk Collins and then trap him; laying right down on him. It’s really funny to watch as Collins meows and wriggles out from under her.
Collins chowing down on chia grass.
You know the saying goes, Some things are just meant to be. The same is true with Collins. He adopted us, out of the blue one December. He wandered into our yard that day and didn’t leave, so we finally brought him in out of the cold.
Whether any of the rest of us accept it or not– Collins is the king of this house.
Don’t believe me? Ask him— He’ll be happy to talk about it for hours.
Public Education Is ‘Dumbing Down’ America
We don’t need to know how to spell, calculate simple math equations, write in cursive or expand our vocabulary, do we? We have computers. If education in America continues on its current track, students will be reduced to nothing more than computer operators with limited thinking skills and the inability to function without them. The evolution of the brain and our abilities to think and communicate are being thwarted by a system that seeks to create a society with restricted measurable skills, in affect, dumbing down individual potential.
Powerful leaders through history have known that if you can control how and what people think, you can control the masses. Programs like No Child Left Behind and now, Common Core strive to produce group results not successful individuals.
Why do you think there is such a great importance on standardized testing? The public is led to believe that it is to provide concrete proof of learning (or lack thereof) and guide educators to improve student performance. Face the fact: Testing only measures a very limited, specific result. It does not measure thinking skills, creative problem-solving and is not an honest indicator of a learning disability or poor educational environment.
The goal of our current public education system is to limit students’ abilities to be creative in both their thinking and problem-solving skills, restricting their knowledge base and reducing their abilities to explore their unique individuality.
Don’t blame the teachers. Their hands have been tied for years. Look to the leadership. Ultimately, the road map is being sent down from the state and federal levels.
But, that’s just the way I see it.
Moon Songs
Happy Sunday! The clocks have been turned back, most of the leaves have fallen from the trees and the moon rules with prominence in the late fall sky.
Throughout history, much has been written about the moon in relation to mystery and romance. It’s fascination never seems to leave us.
I did a search of my music library and 208 recordings of “moon songs” came up. Many are recordings of the same songs by different artists.
Here are five of my most favorite moon songs:
Talking To The Moon – Written by Bruno Mars, Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine, Albert Winkler & Jeff Bhasker and Performed by Bruno Mars. Originally recorded for the album, Doo-Wops & Hooligans.
Moon River by Henry Mancini with lyrics written by Johnny Mercer. It received the 1961 Academy Award for Best Original Song, from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. There have been many wonderful recordings of this classic. Performed here by Andy WIlliams.
Moonfall by Rupert Holmes from the Tony Award winning, Broadway musical The Mystery of Edwin Drood sung by Betsy Wolfe in the 2013 Broadway Revival.
Fly Me To The Moon by Bart Howard Recorded by many artists, sung here by Nat King Cole.
Moon Over Bourbon Street Written and Performed by Sting. Originally from the album, The Dream of the Blue Turtles. Inspired by the Anne Rice novel, Interview With The Vampire. Shown here, recorded Live in Berlin 2010.
Do you have a favorite you want to share? Let me know!
Have a great week!
Blind Hate
I’ll never understand what causes people to become so enraged and be so hateful.
Believe it or not, everyone was not born to hate and everyone was not born a hateable stereotype.
Where does hate come from? Is it jealousy? Partiality? Being disrespected? Envy? Ignorance? Or is hate purely based in fear?
At what point did hate become the acceptable alternative to loving all mankind?
Hate is an extreme, passionate emotion, just like love. Are we strictly taught to hate? In the process, do many people even bother to think about it logically and try to discover the origin of it in their own lives?
All hate doesn’t evolve into violence. All hate does affect behavior and the treatment of others. Sometimes the vehemently caustic words so easily expressed by some, are more damaging than actual physical violence enacted by others.
We often see hate expressed violently in correlation to religion, race, politics and class. At what point did these groups become nothing more than targeted and often, victimized stereotypes? Granted, it’s much easier to hate a group than it is to hate an individual. It certainly saves time. If someone really wants to live in an isolated bubble then hating, by definition is a simple solution. Why waste time getting to know people as individuals?
Hate+ Isolation= An Ignorant, Fear-Filled Life
In social media, you see so many people expressing feelings, judging others and many times probably not even realizing, that what they are doing is hurtful. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. People really need to realize that the way they express their opinions can come across as hateful and hurtful to others; even if it is unintentional. I completely defend everyone’s right to freedom of speech and practice it myself, frequently. But, I believe there is more danger in the words of those– that unknowingly, express hatred towards others than those that side with, and identify with openly defined hate groups.
Politics is one of the most visible arenas for acceptable expressions of hate. Parties disagree. We all understand that. Threats and total disregard for another viewpoint without any credible validation? Unacceptable.
It’s an election year and we have candidates perpetuating hate on both sides. In effect, what I hear from politicians is quite often the exact same accusations and promises, twisted to their benefit, according to what they think the public wants to hear. Or, at least enough people to get them elected.
Politicians are hypocrites and thrive on contradiction. Politics has become a game of hate. Who hates whom more?
In a game, there is a winner and a loser.
In a game of hate, no one wins and everyone loses.
Isn’t it the same with every other aspect of our society? Instead of hating others because of their differences, how about some meaningful discussions about how we can all get along and come to some concrete, acceptable solutions? Does loving one another no longer exist? How about some education and acceptance?
But that would take time and effort. People might be required to step out of the safety of their bubble….
It’s much easier to just hate.
Exercise Your Right: VOTE!
Mid Term Elections– not important? Wrong! There are many important elections and ballot initiatives this cycle, happening all over the country.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014 is an important day. Many communities have early voting for those that find it difficult to make it to the polls on the 4th. Locally, early voting is possible at multiple locations, seven days a week.
We’re all pretty tired of the constant negative campaign commercials. But it’s almost over!
No matter what side of the aisle you support, please make sure your voice is heard and VOTE!
Whatever you do, don’t accept the lame attack ads as the truth. Attack ads spin facts and take quotes out of context.
Take just a few moments and educate yourself before you head to your polling place.
Don’t vote based on fear…. vote based on fact!
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